trying to cope with seperation

[UpsyDaisyOne]

after many years of a strained relationship I always believed was just about to get better my dh has left. I still really love him and trying to get used to living without him, but very sad about the fact my dd (13 months) does not have her dad living with her. Also I am really broody for another baby, and now feel desperately upset that dd might not have a brother or sister. Finding it hard to cope with working full time and paying all the bills (dh is not working- a major cause of the strain- and is currently staying with a friend). Just want to hear from other mumsnetters who have been in this situation

hi there. I am not in your situation but in the process of leaving h. I am so scared too. I would love another child but worry that i will never find someone who will love me. I suppose thats why i have stayed for so long because i am sacred. Cant offer any advice but i have a strong shoulder

thank you. It is so hard isn't it? Before I had a child I thought life was so simple! I love dh and he loves me but we just can't seem to make things work. I didn't realise it was as bad as i was but now I am faced with the truth I am finding it very hard.

its just so hard to cope with. From when i was young i dreamed of having a baby. Getting married etc. I see all there happy couples around me. Men out with their children to give mum a break. Couples out in park together. Husbands talking to their wives. I dont have any of that. I have a sad lonely miserable life because i am trapped in a marriage that will never work. You are one step ahead of me. At least you have made that step to try and make your life happier. I know it doesnt seem like it now but things must get better. Surely? Because i am sure there must be someway we can be happy

sorry to disappear- dd woke up. I know this is for the best as there is nothing so hard and lonely as a bad marriage. Best of luck and I hope you find the strength to see you through this

hi

i'm also separated from my h and have a 2.4yr old who is likely to be my only child now.

i work full time and altho h does pay maintenance i've had to buy my own place and see to all the bills etc.

it is hard watching other families and dads with their kids at playgrounds etc. my dd barely sees her father because he is incredibly flakey and the cause of our break up was his depression combined with other things.

it breaks my heart that dd won't have a brother or sister to grow up with but she's better that than being brought up in a sad marriage.

it will get better and easier. hopefully as a bit of time passes you and your h will find ways to parent your child so they grow up secure that both parents love them etc.

good luck, i really feel for you but tough as it is you will cope better and better.

i have days of extreme happiness that things are the way they are as well as those times of sadness too.

I'm a single mother, I have two kids, but I didn't enjoy the prgnncy, birth, early days of #2 because I was so upset with the state of the relationship.

Easy for me to sit here and type this, but try and focus on enjoying your dd now. 13 months is such a gorgeous age.

My children are also growing up wihtout a Dad (well, in the house) and it is awful coming to terms with that. It feels like the first time you've failed them. And it feels massive. But it's pointless to analyse it and get depressed about it. It gets easier, honestly. Those feelings become less overwhelming.

There's plenty of us out there. Single mothers who didn't choose this, but it is possible to be happier than you are now! You won't feel any worse than you do now.