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Original poster

FWB - Confused and need advice please

12 replies

Justsurfing · 19/02/2024 16:25

Hi, looking for some advice please and this is always a good place to come :-)

I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months now, a fwb type arrangement. It was me who badged it as this as wasn't looking for anything serious.

Problem is I've gone and caught feelings and just looking for peoples opinions and experience of this situation before I speak to him directly about it.

We see each other mostly once or twice a week, not always for sex, sometimes just for dinner
We have nights out, go for meals, have had a weekend away and plan to go abroad in April.

It feels more then friends (to me anyway). we hold hands/kiss in public, we text everyday, he says things like I'm beautiful and its the best sex hes ever had, he cant stop thinking about me, misses me etc. He said he thinks he might get hurt with me?!
We once were kissing and it just felt very deep, i said that didnt feel like a fwbs kiss, he said its you who said fwbs not me.

Do you think this could be more? I hope so I really like him
how do I approach the conversation, worried about looking stupid if I've misread all the signs

Thank you x

OP posts:
Idontjetwashthefucker · 19/02/2024 16:34

Sounds like you're both on the same page to me! Are either of you seeing other people?

Original poster
Justsurfing · 19/02/2024 16:41

Idontjetwashthefucker · 19/02/2024 16:34

Sounds like you're both on the same page to me! Are either of you seeing other people?

I'm not aware he is, he asks to see me almost every weekend. I'm not seeing other people x

OP posts:
mummymeister · 19/02/2024 16:47

This isnt a FWB arrangement at all. its a "Im a bit frightened of committment so call it something else" arrangement. Look you need to be a grown up about this and sit down with him on neutral ground and say what you are thinking. that this is actually now a relationship which you are very happy with, you want to be exclusive and what does he think.

FabFebHalfTerm · 19/02/2024 16:52

Well, I think he's been pretty clear that he's open to the idea of more, but it's you that's said FWB.

just do what @mummymeister has said.

Opentooffers · 19/02/2024 16:55

It is not fwb and probably never was. You're not ment to go on dates and certainly not weekends away together with a fwb. Have a word with him, I think you'll find he wanted to be your boyfriend all along and certainly seems to now. If you're too afraid to lay feelings out - its only been a couple of months, so that's fair - just ask him if he's up for being boyfriend and girlfriend, he will probably say yes, there are many signs, so I'd be surprised if he even hesitates.

ReliableAlice · 20/02/2024 11:39

I hope it's more. It sounds like he might like you too. Let us know how you go once you tell him.

Annella · 20/02/2024 13:14

Ah I do love a hopeful post! Keep us updated :) xx

Redglitter · 20/02/2024 13:17

*We see each other mostly once or twice a week, not always for sex, sometimes just for dinner
We have nights out, go for meals, have had a weekend away and plan to go abroad in April.

It feels more then friends (to me anyway). we hold hands/kiss in public, we text everyday, he says things like I'm beautiful and its the best sex hes ever had, he cant stop thinking about me, misses me etc*

Thats NOT a FWB situation. Call it what you like but that's a relationship

OodlesPoodle · 20/02/2024 14:02

Will go against the grain and say it IS a FWB arrangement until you both agree to be in a relationship. The 'F' is friendship which means you do things you would with a friend, like dinner hang outs, holidays, talk everyday etc. That's the difference between FWB and a hook up or fuck buddy. I had a FWB like this for a year - it never went anywhere as something was always missing to take it to the next level. But it was a great arrangement for companionship and sex when neither of us wanted anything serious. We both met our current partners within months of each other, and ended things - now we're just social media friends who occassionally like or comment.

He seems open to the idea of a relationship so I would definitely ask him if he'd like to make this a relationship where you are bf-gf and not seeing other people. You'll have to accept the risk he could say no, but since you created this dynamic it's ok to take a leap of faith. Sounds promising but i would act on it asap before he meets someone else.

Olika · 20/02/2024 14:35

Just have a chat with him. Sounds like he is open for it to be a relationship.

Downtoyou · 06/08/2024 15:41

I am just wondering if there is an update on this, as I am in a very similar situation at the minute!

Bobbotgegrinch · 06/08/2024 16:24

Edit: Crap. Didn't realise this was a zombie thread. @Downtoyou , you're better off starting your own thread, you'll get better responses.

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