Dating service advice please

[FatGirlSlimming]

Hi, I’m early 60s, separated (for a few years now) after a long marriage and would v much like to meet a kind man to share my life with. I don’t want to be single and alone. However, I don’t want to go on one of the sites where you put your photo up etc - I’d like to be totally discreet and the thought of someone at work etc seeing me on a site or even my ex - noooo! So I thought maybe an old fashioned intro service which I’m happy to pay for within reason - but any recommendations? Or online is fine if I can be discreet. My friend is on a few sites and has had an awful time with some very strange or unpleasant types! Sorry I have no idea where to start and would appreciate advice. Thank you so much!

I did a bit of research on these years ago. It transpires that half the people on there are solicited to join and given free passes as it were. Then the other half are paying through the nose for it.
This came from a man I met who had been on several dates with a woman who had paid and eventually he felt bad and told her.
They seemed really expensive and not worth it in my opinion.
Online dating is a bit brutal but you can be discreet! Or maybe join some meetup groups, wine tasting or language and see if you can meet people that way

Thank you @Sodndashitall I had no idea about what you describe but I can see it makes sense. I was going to contact one of the paid for sites the other day but was put off as it’s all about booking a call, no price info, and they want your salary etc! I was a bit 🤔 Also because it is what it is everything is non-traceable! Eg those glorious testimonials!

I think dating agencies are to be steered clear of. If you do a search on here there are some old threads about them, and I can't remember anyone ever having a good experience of them.

It's possible to go 'incognito' on some of the dating apps. I personally think it's a bit of a con, it seems a lot of money considering the unfortunately quality of men on there doesn't improve if you pay.

So many people are on dating apps I don't think there's much of a stigma anymore, if your colleagues or ex's see you on there, it's because they are too.

But I think apps are mostly for hook-ups these days and playing around/the field so broadening your social circle and going out more is a better use of your time and money, because even if you don't meet anyone you with have gained other enriching experiences.

I found on dating apps you spend a lot of time on your phone (not ideal) and not much time dating, so it's not that a productive use of previous time

Thank you @yellowdoggie I don’t have much time to socialise (and am getting old 😂) and am in a v rural area so I thought maybe I’d expedite things by using a dating service. I’m more than happy to drive maybe an hour to meet a date but joining things etc is more difficult due to location. Also I have a weekend hobby which is rather female orientated. I was hoping for efficiency 😂 I did look at meet-ups but they are all about an hour+ drive away, mainly weekends which I can’t do and shock horror some were aged up to 50!

It used to be that if you paid for the premium service with Bumble (not sure what it was called) you could use incognito mode whereby only the men that you ‘liked’ could see your profile.

@WatieKatie oh - that sounds good. What are people’s recommendations for the more reliable sites? For I suppose aged 50+! (60+ 😫 actually but I’m still young at heart, work full time and am not looking for a geriatric!).

Sorry by that I don’t mean I’m looking for someone 10 years younger either.