Thoughts on the woman making the first move?

[Lalalouloulala]

So… to put this into context, there’s a waiter I fancy at a restaurant I’ve been to a couple of times.
the people I was with made a few comments to him whilst he was serving us like ‘are you single’ ‘she thinks you have a lovely smile’ etc.. which he seemed to like.. we asked his name, and he also said he wouldn’t forget mine and that I was beautiful.

I bumped into him again very briefly, he was rushing past as he was busy working, but he said said it was good to see me again.. I nearly went back in to give him my number but my nerves got the better of me! So I done the easier thing of following him on Instagram instead since I knew his name.. but I wish I had just plucked up the courage to give my number or ask for his instead, but here we are!

he’s followed me back.. my question is, shall I wait to see if he messages me? Do I message him and make the first move? Have I already made the first move by following his insta?
I regret following him a little.. as I don’t really enjoy social media, I think it sometimes creates a false sense of someone’s life or people judge you too much based on very little information.

I don’t date much, but I don’t seem to be great at this dating stuff! I don’t get past a first date, even though they go well? So I feel that has knocked my confidence recently as I think to myself.. if these first dates are going well, sometimes they even suggest a second then change their mind.. or just go quiet. What am I doing wrong? 😂

I’m really hoping this guy reaches out to me.. it would be a lovely confidence boost and also because I really would love to go for a drink with him! He’s got the most gorgeous smile, and such a nice energy about him. arghhh! Help! 🙃

Invite him for a drink. Stop mithring by waiting for him to do it.
He'll either say yes or no, but at least you'll know if he's interested.

Im older...i dont mess about. I near enough chased a guy off bus last year and gave him my number. We went on a date...not to be but i say stuff any embarrassment etc...tbh youll know where you stand asap and youll not be wasting your time if its a no. Times precious

You already have made the first move. If you ask him out you run the risk of looking desperate. If he really liked you he’d ask you. I disagree you’ll know where you stand if you ask him out. You’re actually missing out on an opportunity to test how much he likes you. He may say yes but men will take whatever’s on offer usually.
As to where you’re going wrong, no idea. Depends on what you’re doing on the dates and inbetween dates. Maybe nothing

Just wait now to see if he makes any move. It’s enough (or maybe more than enough) already. If he wants to pursue it he knows how to find you online now. Good luck but I really wouldn’t push it any further, although I am quite traditional that way. 🍀

See I can't stand games like this when it comes to dating. He might not even know whether he's into you yet. Just ask him. And also - try not to get so invested so early on. You're doing a lot of procrastinating over someone you've barely met! Dating is mostly a numbers game. You have to have a thick skin and be ready to move on to the next one at any given time. Easy come easy go at this point.

When did he follow you back? If a day or two then definitely let him contact you first, you have made the first move (plus comments in the cafe), he is obviously very responsive, both in the cafe and with insta following, but please let him now initiate something.
Not only a confidence boost, you also don't want him falling into a habit of not being proactive and just following your lead. As you said, yo'ud love a move from him.
If this was more than a few of days ago, he's not hugely keen, unfortunately. If you get bored waiting, you could contact him but really just to hear that he's not single / too busy. At least yo can move on then.

In my opinion, him following you back is the signal he'd be interested. I'd just ask him. Men can be very rejection sensitive too, it's not like we go about asking women out on the street left right and centre. Good luck

I asked my crush out directly. Unfortunately he was already seeing someone but allowed me to stop obsessing.

Just send him a message.

And stop harassing people at work. I used to work in a restaurant and it was really awkward when customers did this. You have to be polite even when customers are creepy but it’s weird as you’re trying to work.

A simple message, "hey how's work?" could open the way to messaging. But if he doesn't seem interested in messaging maybe let it go.

Go for it! I made the first move with my partner and we've been together 11 years and have a three year old and another along the way!

Go for it!

I wouldn’t call it playing games. I’d call it having a bit of dignity and not harassing the man. She’s already showed enough interest by encouraging her friends to ask him inappropriate questions at work, now she’s searched him up and made contact with him on social media 🙄

Step back a little.
UNFOLLOW.
Best advice is:
Find your best party dress, do up your hair and nails.
GO there every week.
Just go EAT, and SMILE!!!!!!
Forget ' Telling him how you LIKE HIM'
Act nonchallant.
If a conversation comes up about ' likes' DENY!!!!
explain another person in the group has hots for him.