Why do I get obsessed with people?

[SummerHousePlease]

Not sure if the title really makes sense, but I seem to become fixated/obsessed with men.

Last year I fancied a bloke, he didn't really seem interested but I became fixated with him... following his every move on social media, taking every chance to be where I knew he would be...

That only died off when I met another guy, it wasn't anything serious, we had a bit of a fling and slept together a few times over the space of a couple of months, then he said he wasn't interested in anything more, but I really liked him and again kept checking his social media accounts, posting things in the hope he would see, thinking about him constantly to the point it was affecting my everyday life...

Then... I started messaging a man from work a few weeks ago, nothing's really happened yet but I think it's heading that way, I already don't care about the previous 2, and keep imagining what it would be like with the new guy, I'm constantly checking to see whether he's online or messaged me etc... its not healthy is it, and I don't know what to do to stop it!!

Maybe look into Anxious Attachment style. I definitely learnt a lot about myself when I looked into this.
x

Sounds like a type of ocd anxiety, circulating and looping in your mind, could be limerance so google that too

Could be unconscious avoidance of real intimacy

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Limerance? I used to have a habit of doing this and during my toxic marriage mind you, I'd imagine a life with a person I didn't even know. I think I so badly wanted to be loved that I formed fantasy attachments to men who showed me any type of attention. I thought there was something wrong with me, that i would always be looking at other men. I'm in a stable loving relationship of 4 years since I divorced and I have eyes for no one but my boyfriend. He fulfils every need and he makes me feel very secure. I think once you feel validated and secure in a relationship the need for looking elsewhere or fantasising goes away.

One of my sisters also has a habit of obsessing over men like this too, especially band members.

Limerence which stems from childhood attachment trauma. Seek some pssychotherapy to treat accordingly.

Apparently people with ADHD are prone to limerance as the delicious fantasies we have of these people flood us with dopamine.

People have beat me to it but have a think about childhood and the consistency of your caregivers as it does sound like anxious attachment.

I'm very much like this too, and always have been. I'm currently listening to Is this ok? by Harriet Gibsone which is all about these obsessions made worse with social media. It's worth a listen, just to recognise that it's not just you!