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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU

3 replies

Flora1990 · 18/02/2024 22:07

I want to start by saying My husband is a fantastic husband and father, he works incredibly hard (through choice not necessity, he is very career driven) and he’s out of the house most days from 6am - 7pm and on the weekends he quite often ends up having to do some form of work. We live in the town he grew up in and where all his friends live and is near to his work. I work in the next town over which is also where I grew up and near my mum. We have two DSs together who are 11 and 6.

Now this is where my feelings start - I want a third child, he’s always known I want 3 children and always played along that he felt the same way, he’s never said he doesn’t want a third child but he just keeps saying now isn’t the right time and delaying it, he knew I wanted a smaller age gap than I had with my first two but now the age gap will be even bigger if we do have another. I feel like he’s just delaying it in the hope that one day I will turn around and say that I’m too old to have another baby and therefore he doesn’t have to actually face up to me that he doesn’t want another one.

secondly, I don’t like where we live. He’s known this for years, we’ve lived in this town for 15 years together and I’ve told him constantly that I want to move away. He won’t consider it and doesn’t discuss it he just gets grumpy because it’s near his mum and his work.

As I said at the start he is a fantastic husband and father but I think he just burries his head in the sand with anything I want with my life and carries on with what he is happy with.

I just don’t know what to do as I find myself constantly googling about third children and looking at houses and then just making myself miserable or angry!

OP posts:
AnnieBuddyHere · 18/02/2024 22:09

As I said at the start he is a fantastic husband and father but I think he just burries his head in the sand with anything I want with my life and carries on with what he is happy with.

Well there's an oxymoron if ever I read one.

A 'fantastic' husband who only does what makes him happy?

Nope.

Flora1990 · 18/02/2024 22:22

AnnieBuddyHere · 18/02/2024 22:09

As I said at the start he is a fantastic husband and father but I think he just burries his head in the sand with anything I want with my life and carries on with what he is happy with.

Well there's an oxymoron if ever I read one.

A 'fantastic' husband who only does what makes him happy?

Nope.

I never said he only does what makes him happy, I said he carries on with what he’s happy with, he does do a lot of other things that makes me happy. I think he would just rather not have a confrontational conversation with me but I would rather he would actually discuss it honestly!

I was just hoping there was someone who maybe is in the same situation as me on here who could give their perspective, not a useless comment like you have given.

OP posts:
AnnieBuddyHere · 18/02/2024 22:31

I don't think that's fair OP.

From the way you've written about him (which is all I can go on), he really doesn't sound fantastic and that's all I was saying 🤷‍♂️

He shouldn't be burying his head when it comes to your wants and needs.

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