My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year and a half or so, and been together for nearly three. We are perfect together. Everybody is envious of our near perfect relationship, we are genuinely the best of friends. He is the best person I have ever met.
My family and friends adore him, his family and friends adore me, and it’s genuinely felt like we’re in the honeymoon phase for the entire time we’ve been together.
Since moving in together we have had much less sex than usual. Normal I thought, and doesn’t bother me because I don’t have the highest sex drive anyway. I’m also not the most confident in bed so he does tend to take a lead every single time which, I know, is not ideal, and I could definitely improve this area.
On Friday night he went out with his friends, and Saturday morning I had plans with my friends, so we barely saw one another. He was asleep so I put a glass of water on his table, kissed him goodbye and left.
While I was with my friends I received a message from an Instagram user that I did not know. The message was from my partners ex-girlfriend….. he had called her at 2am.
I immediately messaged him, and he said he was so sorry, he had gone to ring one of his friends, he was drunk / couldn’t see who he was calling and it was a mistake. I trust him, and I said we could talk about it when I get home in the evening.
Fast forward to Saturday evening, I get home and he’s out again. I tell him I need to see him, I need to talk to him about what happended, and asked him to please come home at a reasonable hour so we can talk it out. He didn’t. I picked him up at 4:00am, where he was just wandering the streets, alone.
In the morning he tells me he’s not happy at all in life, he needs to find himself again, doesn’t like that we spend 24/7 together, and he needs to find his own ‘spark’ / happiness to see if we can come back together, so basically, he wants to break-up.
I asked if he means to ‘take a break’ or to actually break-up. He says break-up, but he wants to see how he feels in a weeks time.
He kept repeating that he loves me, I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him, that he ‘wishes’ it could work. He says it’s nothing I’ve done and kept apologising and apologising for ‘hurting me’.
Although very teary, I was super calm about it, told him he needs to do what he needs to do and it’s ok that he is putting himself first.
We have so much planned over the next 2 weeks - 3 concerts (with his family) and a holiday. The concerts are all musicians I adore so frankly, I don’t want to take a step back and let just him go - I paid for the holiday, too, as his birthday present. So I’m not sitting that out either.
He’s gone for a walk now, but he’ll be back later.
He will be sleeping in the spare room but we will be living in the same house. He has nowhere to go other than his mum’s sofa. My mum said I should just tell him to sleep at his mum’s on the sofa, but I don’t have it in me.
I’m really really anxious about him not being around, I’m absolutely not strong enough for that.
How do I handle this now? I am obviously absolutely devastated but I’m subconsciously just thinking about how everything will be fine, we’ll get back together, we’re soulmates, yadda yadda yadda. But what if we don’t? How would you navigate this situation? I’m lost.
Thank you for reading.