Really worried I've made a mistake

[Problemnumber99]

Hello, after peoples views please.

I'm due in court on Tuesday after making an application for a specific issue order to go on holiday with my 2 year old. When I filled the application in I said yes to emotional abuse and I just don't know if it is, or if I've just created a drama over nothing. He now knows I've said yes to some form of abuse but not what, and is livid.

He's threatened me with court since I was pregnant and I've found it impossible to the point of insanity to try and reason with him and come to an agreement.

For example, he used to have contact whenever he liked but got very angry if I had made plans when he wanted to come, so I asked for the same times each week. He refused to suggest days/times so I did, yet consistently gets angry about the days and times. I ask what he'd like instead, but doesn't answer. 2 weeks later we do it all again. I feel like conflict is a hobby he actually enjoys, and I absolutely hate it. It's like he prods and prods until I lose it and then calmly tells me I need help.

I'm just not sure that is serious enough to say emotional abuse.. I just couldn't tick no. Worried I'm going to look like I've just belittled the issues of people who are seriously abused 🤯

Thank youx

It's emotional abuse 100%

Yes, that is abuse, and his behaviour now is proving it all over again.

Yes. It's emotional abuse.

Thank you @LifeExperience , @aitchteeaitch and @Kosenrufugirl I don't feel so ridiculous now

@Problemnumber99 how are you?

Definitely sounds abusive where he’s threatening you and creating conflict when you’re trying to be reasonable.

Write out your statement ahead of time. Explain what has happened regarding contact and how you have tried to set a reasonable schedule. Him verbally berating you and refusing to set a schedule is emotionally draining and not conductive to a adult co-parenting relationship.

Yes, it sounds like he's trying to hold power over you - unless there's something you're not telling us - but threatening court before you've even given birth sounds like a power play.

@Ulysees I'm OK thank you! Court was nothing like as awful as I'd built it up to be. The judge was very fair, and a sensible plan is in place without the need for an order. And most of all I can't be threatened with court anymore which is such a weight lifted! X😊

@Echobelly @MissBPotter @OhcantthInkofaname thank you, I've realised without the threat of court (which he knew got to me) there's very little to use against me now.

@Problemnumber99 that's brilliant news!