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Relationships

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Original poster

does your dh have friends?

21 replies

robinpud · 23/03/2008 16:35

Does he make the effort to see people? Is he just happy to socialise with whoever you see?
Does he see his own friends without you? Does he make plans to see epople or is that up to you?

Just interested as lots of women say their dh's aren't bothered about friends.

OP posts:

beaniesteve · 23/03/2008 16:37

Mine has loads both male and female and I tag along to most of their social events. I am quite selective with my friends and find it hard to be a part of his long established group of friends.

He is very good at coming out to things my friends arrange but it's nowhere near as often as the times his friends arrange things.

Jojay · 23/03/2008 16:37

My Dh does - he's really into going to see live music, which I'm not, so he has some mates he goes off and does that with.

Lots of my friends DH's don't seem to though - some seem to have old friends that they grew up with or were at uni with etc, but no 'recent' friends IYSWIM

cluelessnchaos · 23/03/2008 16:38

my dh has friends he made at uni, work before me, and keeps in outch with them, but noone he goes down the pub with, or that he works with now, it used to worry me and I would "set him up" with my friends husbands, but now i accept he is happy as he is.

Nbg · 23/03/2008 16:41

My dh is one of those "I dont need friends" men.

He is very close to his brother but we live 70 miles apart.

He's just not a sociable being my dh.
Doesnt drink, doesnt smoke, doesnt go out at all, ever.
Just me and the kids.

bonkerz · 23/03/2008 16:43

Nbg: my Dh is similar to yours. Doesnt drink or smoke and has only one friend who he rings on a sunday and spends 20 minutes talking about nothing. He does go to a pub quiz on a sunday night with his step dad, brother and sister but apart from that he doesnt have any friends!

Anna8888 · 23/03/2008 16:51

Zillions of them. I can't cope with all the invitations / people coming over and in fact he sees loads of his friends without me... and chats to them on the telephone all the time.

loopylou6 · 23/03/2008 17:52

At the risk of sounding like a puke bucket me and dh have mutual friends but tbh we dont see a whole lot of them because we get on so well ourselves, anyone else just puts a spanner in the works, we prefer it to just be us

Original poster

robinpud · 23/03/2008 17:53

NBg- is dh anti sociable or just quite content with his family?

OP posts:

eandh · 23/03/2008 17:59

DH has around 7-10 really close friends (they gre up in same village, went to school together etc) in gact we ended up with 6 ushers at our wedding as he couldnt choose between them.

I get on really well with all the wives/girlfriends in fact some of them are now my closest friends (one in particular is dd1 godmother and another dd2 godmother)

The blokes have around 4-6 big nights out a year (ie get steaming drunk) and occasional odd nights out for a pint or two mid week or game of golf on saturday morning, in teh summer we all tend to get together with kids (there are loads between us) and have bbq etc. DH hardly does the organising but he is so disorganised so normally tehre are a couple of his mates who sort dates etc and he just agrees and goes.

He does have a wide range of other friends ie work/football mates etc etc and sees those at relevant places but wouldnt necessarily 'go out' with them. He certainly wouldnt not go out with his proper mates and I know he values their friendships very highly (in fact out of dd's 4 godfathers between them 3 of them are his 'old school/village' friends)

Nbg · 23/03/2008 19:10

Robinpud, he's just content with his family.
Tbh the friends he has had have been the drinking/pub sorts and he's just not into that now.

I sometimes think it would be good for him to have a close friend.

Well actually we do have a mutual friend (female) that he works with.
We were pregnant at the same time so her dd and my ds1 are the same age.
Sadly she lost her dh last summer so we spend alot of time together but shes more like a family member now than friend.

Flamesparrow · 23/03/2008 19:17

Mine did. Then they went AWOL Really with them tbh but I can sort of understand it... all single, no ties, earning a hell of a lot more than us. We were the ones needing to find a babysitter, not being able to contribute to the extravagant group pressies etc

He has really shrunken into himself since they sodded off though

(LilytotheB if you are reading this, don't be all - moving to a silly place is a valid excuse )

Jane68 · 23/03/2008 19:19

Mine isn't, he has work friends and the lads he plays football with but only ever goes out with them at Christmas. But then again I'm the same, we are just happy in our little family unit.

Blondilocks · 23/03/2008 19:20

Mine has millions of friends, or it seems like that! I think a lot of them are friends of friends.

Most of them are really nice, the others I haven't met yet.

pedilia · 23/03/2008 19:22

DH just likes spending time with us really, he has friends but no really close ones.
He had a very hard time about 4 years ago and it was an eye opener for him as to who stood by him!

I tend to organise any of the social things we do, we have mutual friends who we spend time together otherwise it is our families (my brother, his sister)

We are quite content with that

JodieG1 · 23/03/2008 19:27

My dh has work friends, they are fairly close I'd say. Go out a every now and again and I usaully go too for a decent night out. He goes alone too though.

We've had a bbq here the past 2 years in the summer for them and their families and it was fun. There are about 12-15 of them plus wives and some have children. I get on well with them all and all the partners.

He has friends from where he used to live but never wants to contact them really. Last saw them about 3 years ago. Lives 40 miles from them now.

chickytwotimes · 23/03/2008 19:29

My dh has a few work friends, one of whom he is close to. His best friend lives 100 miles away but they talk for 2 hours on the phone each week! We are also friends with a couple up the road and he keeps up with acquantances from school, so yes, he ccertainly does have friends!

digitalgirl · 23/03/2008 19:48

We've been together nearly 13 years so a lot of my friends are now his friends. I kept in touch with friends from school, he didn't. He was in a band before we met and that formed the bulk of his social circle but since they all went their own ways he's not been that bothered at having a social life separate to mine. He used to worry about not having enough friends, but he's not a massive drinker and doesn't play any sport so he's not really missing out.

He has a friend from childhood who we make an effort to see from every few months and the occasional ex-work colleague that he tries to see twice a year but our regular social life is pretty much taken up by my old school friends (they organise a lot).

He's happy, my best friend's boyfriend is now his business partner - so we're practically all family now.

I suspect this might change once the baby's born, and we'll find ourselves in a completely different social circle!

ninja · 23/03/2008 20:56

Oh yes my DH has friends - work friends, footy friends (he plays for 2.5 teams now and he still has friends from all the old teams), friends of friends, people he used to work with......

He says all he needs is his family but it's not uncommon for him to be out 4 or 5 times a week!!

Thomcat · 23/03/2008 21:01

Mine has lots of friends. He has hundreds of people he 'just knows', a large circle of DJ/club/music stlye mates and a good handful of best mates who he's known for years and are like family.

I like every one of his mates.

He sees them once a month or so these days. 3 kids, late home from work etc, priorities change. We try and get people over for dinner a lot too and see our friends.

choosyfloosy · 23/03/2008 23:37

dh has one friend from uni who he speaks to on the phone about every week (we live quite a long way apart). he had a few local friends but unfortunately does not really see them since I came on the scene (i swear i have not tried to make this happen!) he is sometimes sad about this. the local mums try and make the local dads into a functioning social scene but i think it would be a rare bunch of random men who would coalesce like this.

mylittlepudding · 23/03/2008 23:43

Mine has a few friends, but has to be encouraged to make time to go and see them etc. Mostly we see our friends separately - not how I'd have planned it, just works out that way. Plus it means he can go out sans baby and relax a bit occasionally. He's not antisocial - there just aren't enough hours in the day sometimes!

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