Prison for boyfriend/dad to be ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

[samemistake]

Well, I found out why my BF went awol - he hasn't dumped me at all, he's facing prison

I can't believe it - he finally got in touch and told me - I don't even know what he's done, says he can't tell me yet, but he's been told to expect to be sent down Is this just his Solicitor preparing for the worst or what ????

I have SO many questions, but worst of all, his baby is going to be born and not know his dad - I can't stop crying. What do I tell the child? I can't believe it.

It can't be that bad surely, he's at his parents till he appears in Court ... I'm so darn confused.

He also says he won't be writing from prison, or having visits cos it will kill him to not be able to see his baby and will be easier to shut himself off and not think about the 'outside' etc So he's gonna go to court, and that's it, gone, no more contact until he's out????????

What a mess!!!
Anyone else been through this?

Have you confirmed what he's telling you is true ?

I don't know the background to this, but on the basis of this post alone, concocting a "prison" story and also saying that he won't write, or accept visits, strikes me as perhaps a just too convenient excuse as to why he went AWOL in the 1st place.

If you're having a baby it might be that he simply doesn't want to face up to the responsibility that brings ..... hence him disappearing ...... and now resurfacing with this story because maybe his conscience is pricked about you being pregnant on your own ...... but saying he's going "away" is the perfect excuse for him not to help you or see his child.

I'm sorry to be the voice of doom but it sounds very odd to me.

I think what Catsmother is saying may well be worth considering. Do you have any way to contact his parents, would you feel confident enough to do this?

What is your boyfriend's background? What I mean is, has he been in trouble with the police before?

If it is true then I would try not to panic too much about the extent or nature of the crime but try to find out more.

Sorry SM but this sounds like complete ball- acks.

He doesnt want you to visit and he wont write letters

I once had a boyfriend who went "missing".
I saw him months later in a bar and when I asked him what the hell happened his reply was and in exact words
"I was in her majestys service".

Nothing to do with the fact he had a fiance at home and was getting married.

I had a friend who's boyfriend spun her the prison story as well as some other huge lies. Sounds a little too convenient for me.

I would also want to know why he cant tell you what he has done!

As the mother of his child do you not think it reasonable to want to know what he's meant to have done?

Sounds to me like he is telling a complete pack of lies- might be worth pointing out to him that the CSA will very easily find out whether or not he's in prison.

Sorry if this offends, but in my opinion you have been strung along, and are being very niave.

well I can check the court listings I guess, I know when he's supposed to be going.

You're not the only ones to say this to be honest.

Apparently he has been in trouble before - and one of the charges is from 'before' which is why it's likey to be prison.

I've spoken to him and he gets really stressed out on the phone, it's a very elaborate story if it's bull.

Suppose I'll find out soon enough.

Could you not speak to his Mum?

She is your child's Grandmother after all so you'll presumably want to have a relationship with her regardless of his whereabouts?

even if he is going to prison it might not be for very long

but not to have any contact with his baby? no sorry

prisoners are actively encouraged to keep lines of communication with their families open in order to give them something to focus on; it helps reoffending and stops relationships failing

so it seems to me that him saying it will be 'easier' is a pile of cock

to be honest

obv I mean 'it helps prevent reoffending'

how would I be able to verify this? can i find out from the police or the courts??? I can check the listings but it wont tell me what he's up for

i'd rather not confuse myself even more by going to family who only know half a tale, or make up what they don't know... get it from somewhere official - but where???

Sorry, but I agree with the other posters about it all sounding like an elaborate story.

How long have you neem together? Why don't you just go to his parents' house and talk to him? Isn't that what most people would do if they where pregnant with their BF? (after all, as you say, he hasn't dumped you). Was he living with you before?

If you know the date of his court appearance you could go along and find out for yourself.

if know when it is go to the court
or send a trusted confidante to go instead

he sounds a bit of a waste of space tbh
how does he know you will want relationship when his sentence is over?
stop being a doormat to him,
there is more than you two involved now

i can't go visit, or go to the court, it's too far away - he isn't from down here.

you can ring the subscription dept of his local newspaper

check that they run full court listings

then pay them to send you papers

I think they list them online if you know which court it is

Which court is he having to attend? Do you know if he is going for his trial or a deferred sentence? Do you know what he is in court for? what was the previous case for?

Can I be very cynical and say that he sounds like a real catch?

Not

I agree with MB.

Why not just cut all ties with this waste of space now yourself?