When you tell your husband he hurt you; but its "your fault" for being hurt/being sensitive?

[bellamoore1]

A typical argument/disagreement between me and my husband is him being condescending/sarcastic/making snide remarks. Then whenever I call him out on it, or whenever I tell him how its made me feel (I am not saying he has to agree, I could say "x made me feel this way, it might not of been intentional but x is how I feel" he will say its a ME problem, that I took it the wrong way.

So I can't win... I tell him he hurt me by his words, but its my fault for getting hurt apparently. No apology or anything. Has anyone else gone through this?

Another thing he does is often give me the silent treatment, and I have no idea why. I would rather just know what he is annoyed at. When I ask what is wrong he says he is fine, but he carries such a negative aura/miserable attitude. The words are sarcastic, and mean spirited, but when I ask what is wrong its always nothing.

@RandomForest and all his friends think I am being miserable, and I look like I am totally bringing him down....

Of course they do and the only thing you can do to stop it is if you never have contact with his friends again and him.

You see many times these are not isolated incidents, his friends will have taken some sort of instruction from him, maybe not verbally but in his manner towards you, they know he hasn't got your back and are essentially siding with him.
You've been made to feel uncomfortable because you do not trust him to have your back and do not feel safe with him to be the person you used to be.

He has moulded you into someone you are not, he has eradicated the confident easy going girl into a paranoid insecure mess. It's all about power and he's winning.

To get you back, you have to leave him and his fucked up ideas of love.

He's abusive and sounds horrible.

https://www.docdroid.net/2fZmz40/why-does-he-do-that-pdf

This is typical narcissistic domestic abuse. ExDP did exactly the same to me. Mentioned it to my GP and she referred me to Women's Aid. Please see your GP or contact Women's Aid. You will get help.

He's a bully and doesnt like it its pointed out to him. Who put him in charge of your marriage - it should be a partnership.

TBH - silent sulking gives me the ick as it's so childish and puerile.

and all his friends think I am being miserable, and I look like I am totally bringing him down...

Yup! My exH's friend commented months after we split, "you were angry ALL the time". I was. I'm a perfectly delightful person without him.

This is typical abusive behaviour: gaslighting, blaming you for everything, silent treatment...

Why are you staying with a man who is showing you that he does not care about your feelings?