I’ve got a friend who I met through work 10 years ago and whilst we don’t work together anymore we’ve remained in touch. We would meet for coffee at each others homes periodically (maybe every few months), the odd dinner out for birthdays and whatsapp a bit usually to celebrate it being a Friday!
In the last year our contact has dwindled. We both lead busy lives and had our own stresses and issues. I found the last few times I’ve been in touch everything is quite negative, suggestions I make are met with a 'no' or a 'it wouldn’t work' and they’ve had some problems with relationships and work to sort through. I also found it difficult to get a word in about anything so I think I probably started listening more than contributing to the conversation. On one occasion out of the blue they expressed frustration that I never say anything about myself which caught me off guard! I should have probably told them how I felt and been blunt back by telling them I felt they spent too much time talking about themselves making it hard to interject! I sometimes get a funny vibe when its been a few weeks between contact that they blame me for that and there is usually a comment like “your like this when you get busy”.
In early December I asked about exchanging Christmas gifts as we’ve done before. I just got back lots of reasons they were too busy to meet. I didn’t push and left it which is a shame. We’ve exchanged a few messages since which are polite and friendly but not made any plans to meet and if I’m honest I’m loath to make plans as I feel quite negative after meeting up and I don’t think I can carry that load anymore.
I feel bad, I don’t think either of us did anything wrong, and it seems a shame to lose a friendship. Maybe we’ve just grown apart and I don’t need to keep trying? So WWYD?