Is he right and is something wrong with me?

[Mumof3love2]

My OH (16 years together) booked a table for valentine's day 3 weeks ago for today, kids were going to have a planned activity next to us and we would have a bit of time to chat.

40 min before leaving I decided to connect my phone on computer to get pictures out (kids were all busy) and same time was looking for something for the kids.
Husband said 30 min, 10 min but i was so engrossed that I didn't really notice it.
At the time he planned to leave he said time is up and I stopped the computer but I had to put kids to the toilet and get them ready to leave.
OH told me there is no point to go we won't have the table if late.
He took it very personally that I missed the timing (tbh I am always a last minute person) and he told me that shows him that I don't care anymore.
He told me that the relationship is over, that he deserves better.
6 months ago he was about to leave due to the way I spoke to him, according to him I spoke in a way that doesn't care about him.
He said that anyone would say I am wrong and not nice.
He spends so much time on his phone nowadays that I find hard to have time together. He is on burnout, difficult time so I don't want him to take a decision harshly.
I am lost... What do you think?

We don’t know what her DH was doing as she’s only told us she was dicking about on the computer.

He could have been in the shower, getting dressed etc expecting her to be doing the same - without that detail we don’t know.

That’s an interesting username op.

You're not giving much wider context - my OH has been doing this last-minute faffing thing our entire life together (over 30 years) and it's horrible and it makes me angry and stressed and wanting to leave. If this were a one-off, your OH's reaction would have been disproportionate. But if it's just something you do generally, then yes, this is on you

You don’t seem to take much responsibility for your behaviour. Why not?

If I'd booked a table and given my OH a thirty minute and ten minute time check I'd be a pissed off if they ignored it and stayed engrossed in looking at photos on the computer, but I wouldn't threaten to leave him. That would be a complete overreaction.

Is there some reason that prevents him from taking the children to the loo and getting them ready to leave?

If he's threatening to leave you every six months because you're not nice, I'd probably help him pack his bags.

You both sound as bad as each other. It is irritating when your partner starts faffing with some shite before going out and it is irritating when the one doing nothing could be doing the necessary with the kids.

It sounds as if everything has gone stale and he's lost respect for you

He said that anyone would say I am wrong and not nice

Just leave. If he needs to invoke the back up of all these fictional people, he's just ganging up on you to bolster himself. If he thinks you're not nice, it doesn't really matter whether he's right or wrong. You just shouldn't be together. Choose someone who does think you're nice.

It's amazing how many people pick someone who doesn't like them, then try to work out if that person is 'right'.

There is A LOT more context needed here for anyone to make any sort of judgement.

is he expecting you to do everything and moans when u can’t get it done or is it that you just don’t put any energy into him and your marriage? He sounds very unhappy - there’s obviously something he feels he’s not getting from you. Only you and him can sort it out. Asking the internet when they know nothing of your relationship etc is hard

I'm with your dh on this (although as a singular incident I'd not finish the relationship).

But it was supposed to be a special occasion and you clearly didn't care enough to get sorted in time. My ex used to do things like this and over years it became a big issue for me

I can't see the bigger picture with your post.
But in this one case you been late, you were rude, and disrespectful, if you do that constantly I can't blame him for call you out.
It is very annoying being some else alarm clock.

Regarding other issues, I can't tell.

I think you were inconsiderate on Valentines day. That if your kids are capable of being left at a planned activity then they should be capable of toileting and getting ready themselves. That you both need to spend some time unplugged from devices and spending some "actual" time together rather than simply being in the same space

I also think there is much more going on in the background of your relationship. Why is he burnt out ? Why does ha accuse you of not caring ? Is he seeking attention or looking for an excuse to leave ?. I hope you can sort it out