No contact with mum

[tiredmumma90]

Hey,

How do I go no contact with my mum?? She's still married to my dad though, so it'll be hard for me to see him when she's there.

I've just come off the phone to my dad crying cos she was in the background being horrible towards me, putting me down about things.
She does it all the time or throws sarcastic comments towards me. She's worse when my sister is around, she says things about me and then looks at my sister laughing like my sister is going to join in. There was one occasion where my sister and dad commented on how rude she was after she said something towards me and she just laughed it off.
Me and my sister get along, and she does not join in her..

We have never had a great relationship tbh. Now that I am an adult I don't want to continue going through it all the time.

I moved out when I was 19 and haven't been back since only visit.

Please, if you have any advice I would be so grateful

TIA! X

Send a message to your dad and sister - 'listen guys, I love you both, but I won't be seeing mum anymore. I think you've both been witness to how much she has bullied me over the years. I should have made this decision years ago as life is far too short to waste on abusers. Because thats what she is,no matter how we sugar coat it. I understand if you wish to keep her in your lives. But I'm done with her. Tbh, I hope you'll all one day find the courage to follow. But I understand if you think being the right hand of the devil,makes you immune. Know that my door is away open to you guys irregardless. I'm sorry if my decision leaves you in a difficult position but I hope you can respect it and we can move forwards as a family. And before you say, she is my family, no, no she has never been that. She has only ever been my abuser. And abuse isn't love. People who love us are not abusive to us. Abusers aren't family. With love, m'.

Alternatively, call them both out to lunch and tell them the above.

She sounds mentally ill, perhaps a personality disorder.

Sending a huge hug your way. 💐

How did your dad react to her behaviour?

Life is too short to live like this . I like the quote to make change happen we have to do something different. I've been no contact for years due to my mum making me the scapegoat , it has been peaceful where I'm less anxious but am also now dealing with the trauma she left me with . My advice is boundary and get out before more damage is done to you . Good luck, I know how hard this is and how brave you will need to be