You say Autumn? As in Autumn 2023? Hunny please bear in mind that is not long at all. It really isn't.
So firstly you had to end things and then after that you found out a ton of other awful stuff and this kind of stuff can really put you in a state of shock and trauma. Trauma doesn't just go away like that sweetheart, as much as you might want it to, it takes a bit of time.
There are a few things that can be really helpful and that have really helped me so I'll list them here.
Youtube channels i've been listening to are: Stephanie Lynn coaching (really really good for where you are right now), Mental healness (it's about narcissism but that's pretty much a blanket term for toxicity these days so it's applicable) and Dr Ramani (same as the former).
In times I've just wanted to process the hurt, those channels have been friends to me and helped me to just see that others are going through pain too, that I'm not alone and that it'll get better. It's also been good for advice and perspective.
Books I've read are "How to leave your psychopath" - I forget the author but it was very helpful and comforting, "Why did you stay?" was another one I read and "Whole again" was another good one I read about trauma and processing it.
I got a counsellor and saw them weekly and used Betterhelp and that gave me someone to talk to and is very helpful so consider that.
I joined a gym but it's not just a gym they do classes and it's a bit of community so I've made friends there. I also started pilates and got to know people there too.
I journalled a lot about my feelings.
I wrote down all the things that he did to me that made me feel like shit - an ick list basically.
I wrote down why I left.
I wrote down what I wanted the reality to be of doing things like buying a house with him, getting engaged to him, going on holiday with him and what the reality actually was. Always helpful to take the rose tinted glasses off.
I looked at why I got into this situation, what made me put up with it, why did it happen? What happened that made me think i deserved it and worked on basically NOT doing that again.
I stayed single (and am still single and happy with that for now).
Through most of this for the first 6 months the truth is that I felt like SHIT constantly. I tried to focus and struggled with basic self care like sleep/eating etc. I got Hello Fresh boxes on discount and picked the quick meals because i just could not be ARSED to cook for myself, I didn't care about eating.
The whole thing is a long and arduous process, the difference being now that it's towards something worthwhile, a new start for yourself. To find out who you are, to become stronger and to become wiser as well. So that one day you can give people the advice that you're asking for now.
One of the most important things is not railing against your feelings and feeling hopeless about feeling hopeless. Look, you feel like shit and you're suffering, so first things first accept that is how you feel and stop giving yourself so much shit for it - it's understandable, still raw and you're still recovering and healing isn't a picnic. It's not fun, but it's where you are right now and those feelings can be your friend if you let them.
You can look to start to set little goals for yourself. My first one was get out of bed and brush my teeth. My second one was go for a walk. My third one was go to sleep at x time (still shit at that) and then I moved on to trying to go to a class, then I moved onto going for a run etc etc.
This has all been a hugely upsetting event for you, and it wasn't your fault either so why on Earth are you upset with yourself that you're not living your best life? The only way is through with these things, not over, under or around - through.
I hope this is helpful and sorry it's an essay, I just honestly feel for you and know how you feel, and I always feel like I want to help when I see women on here posting stuff like this.