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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Card

8 replies

Newnamedisguise · 13/02/2024 07:22

Me and ex split before Christmas after 10 years. His child lived with us for a year or 2. He left when I got pregnant. Hes 20. Ex is having a go because I didn't send him a card. I don't think its unreasonable to not do that.

OP posts:
BarbieDangerous · 13/02/2024 07:30

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong however I think it depends on the relationship that you had with his son.

Some people still stay in touch with ex SDC especially when they’re at the age where they can voice whether they still want a relationship with you. Others no longer stay in contact with ex SDC. I don’t think either way is wrong. Maybe his son was hurt because he expected something from you?

Humanswarm · 13/02/2024 08:27

I suppose the question is, why did you chose not to send him a card? If you had a volatile relationship and had very little to do with him after your pregnancy, then okay. But if he remained a part of your life, and is after all, your dcs half sibling now, then I would wonder why?

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 13/02/2024 11:46

Well the ex left me with a 4 week old baby after an 11 year relationship to go with someone else. The son then decided everytime I was out to tell his dad where I was. Ex made it clear he wants no contact with my family and didn't want me to have contact with his. He's got a new girlfriend so why would I still be sending cards. I havnt seen or heard from the son and didn't often have a lot to do with him.

OP posts:
SamW98 · 13/02/2024 11:55

He’s being a twat. His son is 20 not 5 - I doubt he gives a shit about a card, it’s just a stick to beat you with.

Ignore the twat or just reply 👍

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 13/02/2024 12:12

It's just getting out of hand now. He has baby for 2 hours twice a week. He's now just told me that I've been out through the week for more than 2 hours so why can't he have the baby for longer. He's literally telling me how long I've been out for. I think that's stalking territory?? I'm allowed to go out surley. Baby is breastfed. He sleeps for 2-4 hours before his last feed. I don't go any further than a 10 minute drive away so I can pop back to feed the baby

OP posts:
Amsooverthis · 13/02/2024 12:14

How does the son know you are out?

Aquamarine1029 · 13/02/2024 12:46

Newnamedisguise · 13/02/2024 12:12

It's just getting out of hand now. He has baby for 2 hours twice a week. He's now just told me that I've been out through the week for more than 2 hours so why can't he have the baby for longer. He's literally telling me how long I've been out for. I think that's stalking territory?? I'm allowed to go out surley. Baby is breastfed. He sleeps for 2-4 hours before his last feed. I don't go any further than a 10 minute drive away so I can pop back to feed the baby

How does he know that you're out of the home?

Original poster
Newnamedisguise · 13/02/2024 12:55

No idea. The cameras have no power or wifi connection now. He has a mutual friend who could tell him but I'm only there a couple of hours without the baby. His son I assume was in the same pub as me but didn't make himself known.

OP posts:
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