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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice on issues in friendship group

1 reply

HollieTalbut1997 · 12/02/2024 16:34

Hey, I just want some advice really on this friendship group situation. I have a group of friends, we’ve been friends for a long time, since sixth form and have remained close ever since. I became a mum at a youngish age and they’ve been with me all the way through.
Shortly after we finished school two of the friends within the group got together and have now been a couple for 7ish years. The relationship has been volatile at times but in recent years has seemed stable and they’ve moved in together etc. Probably for around the past year, every time we go on a night out or have alcohol they both take it way too far and get extremely drunk every time. This often leads to them getting into an argument later on in the night. It’s massively irritating for the rest of the group as we don’t want to list to their arguments. I think it’s so immature to argue in front of others like that and to still be getting so drunk regularly. We are only in our twenties but I think my life, being a mum, is so different to theirs.

This past weekend, we went on a night out and they had a huge row in the street (not really sure what it was about). Me and my other friends decided to leave them and go home as it was really late anyway. In the morning they didn’t address what happened and ignored messages. They are now blaming my other friend as apparently she annoyed them both as she made a comment about their relationship. I personally don’t wanna get involved in their relationship but don’t disagree with the comment. They are both stubborn and it’s difficult to reason with them.

Any advice on how to navigate these difficult friendships?

OP posts:
Drummend01 · 12/02/2024 17:10

Tell them (or just her/him if you’re closer to one of them).

Be honest ‘it makes me uncomfortable when you both get drunk and argue the whole night, I don’t enjoy myself, so from now on I’m going to… just wanted to let you know that I value your friendship and love your company when you’re sober and relaxed, but it’s harder on the nights out.’

You can’t stop their arguing, so you leave yourself with the choice of either not going to these events or going and then leaving if they start to argue like you did this time. But I would be honest with them so you understand your choice, maybe it’s the wake up call they need.

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