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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I contact him?

13 replies

Nocontact84 · 12/02/2024 12:33

I was in a situationship for a couple of months and ended up getting feelings for him. It was so obvious I was an afterthought to him as he would try and fit me in for short periods of time when it suited him. On his actual time off, he would do other things , go to gym , see friends and then just fit me in at short notice.
Totally my fault for letting him do this but because I liked him so much , I thought seeing him for a bit was better than not seeing him at all. I basically told him I never see him and then he said he would like to stay in touch but that he couldn't stop me from seeing other people.
When he said about seeing other people, it hurt so I pretended I had a date and then he said to let him know how it goes. I sent him a text back saying that he obvs didn't care and that I would go on the date.
That was a month ago and I haven't heard from him and I'm gutted and can't seem to get over him. I really thought he would have got in touch by now. Should I contact him or just forget him?
It's so hard to do the right thing when you really like someone.

OP posts:
Channellingsophistication · 12/02/2024 12:37

I don’t think you should contact him.

What do you like about someone who wouldn’t be willing to treat you as a priority?

I think you need to keep yourself busy and forget him. I know it’s hurtful.

Namechange666 · 12/02/2024 12:37

But why do you like someone so much who barely even gives you crumbs? Do you honestly think this is the best you can get in life?

He has done you a huge favour by not being in touch. Please block him and try to move on. You deserve the whole cake remember that!

SamW98 · 12/02/2024 13:23

Why would you consider contacting someone who doesn’t give a shit about you just to reopen your old wounds?

Unless you’re happy to be a convenient fuck buddy when he’s at a loose end - block him, keep him blocked and forget about him.

rainbowstardrops · 12/02/2024 13:47

I'd leave it. It doesn't sound as if he'd be any good for you.

karrie92 · 12/02/2024 13:49

don’t contact him, just leave him be, move on, it will be hard at first but you will get there,

Opentooffers · 12/02/2024 13:51

Absolutely not, never contact him again. You'll only come across as desperate for any crumbs, and that is not a good look. Respect yourself more.

aitchteeaitch · 12/02/2024 13:52

Don't contact him any more.

If he does contact you again in the future, you can pretty much guarantee it will only be for one reason. Confused

Idontjetwashthefucker · 12/02/2024 15:40

Nah, you're just an occasional shag for him, he doesn't care a bit about you.

Move on

Giv0iw · 12/02/2024 15:45

At least he has not got in touch and strung you along for years OP. Do not contact him though!!

Concentrate on dating get online and meet someone else.

BCBird · 12/02/2024 15:49

Do not contact. I would not engage with him at all. U obviously want different things.

K8ate · 12/02/2024 20:05

You sound really nice and he doesn’t deserve you.
He will probably just mess you around more and more.
I know it’s not easy but you need to move on from this one to someone who feels the same way about you.

WeeOrcadian · 12/02/2024 20:05

Google 'breadcrumbing'

MarshmallowsOnToast · 12/02/2024 20:36

This doesn't sound like a "situationship" from his side. More like a very basic friends with benefits arrangement.

I know it's hard but I've been there. Don't contact...

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