He won't tell me who she is

[Tursl]

I saw my boyfriend last night. He showed me a story of woman on Facebook as she done her own advertising video for some make up and it made him laugh. He was laughing and said you know how I know her then he said he better not tell me. This made me feel comfortable. Why the big secret on how he knows her. I sent a message to him when I got home with a picture of her profile and said I did not feel comfortable with him deciding not to tell me who she was. He has read the message and not replied.

He has a bad habit of remaining Facebook friends with people who have fancied him in the past and one person was a Plenty of Fish date from years ago and was commenting on his photos trying to get his attention again a few months ago even though he has posted photos of us together so she knows he is not single.

I am not one to control who people are friends with but this secretiveness has made me feel anxious.

What sort of OP's behaviour is controlling? She said she feels uncomfortable, that's it?

Tbh, if you said it was your DH instead of boyfriend, you'd have got very different replies.

It is not normal to try and make your girlfiriend jealous and hint at previous relationships. It is not healthy to need a entourage of women around you to boost your ego.

Because uebwanted to make you feel exactly how it has made you feel.

Do you really want to be with someone who enjoys making you feel like this?

Are you both about 14??

I imagine he’s got pathetic self esteem and likes the ego stroke he gets from making you jealous and having people he’s had romantic connections with hanging about on the back burner. Beware the lengths a man with shit self esteem will go to in order to meet his own needs, both with other women but also in terms of potentially being abusive.

You're not compatible. You're insecure and he's playing up to that.

He said it to annoy / upset you, to make you jealous or to get attention from you.

Whatever the reason, he's stupid and immature.

And you played into his hands by begging him to tell you. That's exactoyl what he wanted you to do. He's had his fun.

Seriously, I couldn't fancy someone so childish and idiotic. I'd walk. This is not a grown up relationship.

You’re not being childish at all.

He’s not a keeper. He deliberately hinted at a sexual connection with someone he was focused on online - paying attention to/reacting to - and then refused to be truthful. It doesn’t bode well.

Bit unkind to tell OP she's childish and needs to grow up, she's clearly feeling insecure at the moment so to add to that by making her feel silly for having genuine feelings and simply asking for advice. 🙄

The OP has had a valid reaction!!
My last boyfriend did something similar and I felt about the same. He was also not willing to reassure me that nothing was going on when I tried to bring it up and tell him how I felt.
Fearing your partner is cheating isn’t a sign of a woman being controlling or immature.

Big red flag to me!!! And He sounds quite childish to me, hardly a good start to a relationship, he will destroy all your self confidence …
think carefully girl x

@Tursl, you’d be very foolish to continue with this loser who enjoys goading and unsettling you.