Co-dependent

[Resignationhelp]

Hi
I have a 18 month old. I knew his dad for a few years at work before we got together . He initially said he wanted a serious relationship , he asked me to move in etc . However , cracks appeared and we argued. I then found I was pregnant . We have been on and off ever since . When my son was born I wanted to make it work , move in etc and he kept putting up barriers . When I was pregnant he wasn’t very nice to me , he’s very critical and gets angry easily .

I now believe I am co-dependent . My ex rejects me but calls me and texts me a lot . He says he wants to see me but won’t commit to being together as he wants to see how it goes . I’ve now had enough and we are no contact .

The thing is no matter what, I’ve clung on to any hope he gave and fantasised about a happy family life. My life is hard as a single mum , I also suffer with depression.

I have chased him and chased him . How can I leave this non relationship for good. Any advice welcome .

I am afraid I have no advice but I know exactly how you feel, I am in a similar situation but without the baby.

Hopefully someone will come along with some wise words for us both soon.

It's a horrible feeling to have, so please be kind to yourself.

Remaining no-contact is the first step so well done for putting that down. I'd say you need to do that for as long as it takes to feel better, besides contact around your DC.

Build your self esteem - you're looking to him to validate you, start validating yourself. I remember reading once, that some people's self esteem is so low they have no starting point, so the first step is to make small promises to yourself that will improve your life and sticking to them no matter what. Could be anything, a walk every day, meditate, curl your hair every day, whatever it is that would make you feel better about yourself - do it. Every day. And then build on that.

The only advice I have x

I was in the exact same situation as you last year although I don’t have children. I “labelled “ myself co-dependent and in hindsight I wasn’t. I just waiting for the breadcrumbs with everything on his terms. It does get better. I don’t even like my ex as a person anymore xx

Forgot to add I also have depression and anxiety but it has got better without being in an off on relationship xx