Bizarre OLD situation

[catslave23]

I have been speaking to a guy off Hinge for about three weeks now. We get on great and he's always reliable and consistent with staying in contact, generally message throughout the day or sometimes just the evening if he's busy.

We went on a first date on Monday. It went really well and I think we liked each other. He had asked me on the first date so I asked if he'd like to go out again. He suggested Saturday and we made plans. I even booked an activity and he knew I'd booked and paid as I send him a link to the booking as he needed to fill in a form with some details.

We talked as normal on Friday. Everything was fine and we were looking forward to Saturday evening. He'd gone quiet in the afternoon and when he got home he said he had issues with his phone and had no signal. He'd looked online and there were general issues with the network.

He never replied to a text I sent about 9pm. Thought he'd fallen asleep. He didn't read it until gone 11pm. Didn't think much of it! Next day comes and I don't hear from him despite me sending a couple of messages. One in the morning and another about 4pm

His Whatsapp said he was seen at 9am but then he never came back online.

The whole day and night went by. Didn't hear from him but he equally didn't go back online. We missed the date obviously and I wasted £60!

I actually got a bit worried about him that maybe something had happened to him and tried to call him once in the evening about 7pm thinking perhaps he had phone issues. He didn't answer and I didn't call again.

This morning his WhatsApp still said last seen 9am yesterday but it's just flicked on to say he's been online recently. No message from him.

Next thing I see he's blocked me.

I'm really hurt by this. Why agree to another date, let me book something, talk to me all week then ignore me on the day and block me?

I have no idea what I'm doing wrong but online dating seems to just be absolutely savage. I am a perfectly normal person. I just can't understand this.

This is the second time this has happened now. Another guy I was seeing I had 3 dates with, he arranged a 4th and then ghosted me just before we were meant to meet up.

I completely accept that it's not always going to work out. I didn't actually fancy this guy to be honest but I thought I'd give another date a go as we got on really well and had lots in common.

Is this something with me? I feel like it must be as it's happened twice now.

I would say don't message people throughout the day, every day for weeks. In my experience those guys just like the validation and invariably dip out.

He is a horrible rude person - but i do think I would hold back from making major plans like this with someone who is essentially a stranger. Also don't send multiple messages to someone you barely know it just looks overly keen.

I am 100 per cent not defending his rude behaviour and you are well rid of him early on. - but do try to hold on to a distance until you know them pretty well - ie. several dates in.

Men acting like cunts seem to be the accepted standard for OLD! I thank fuck I only read about it and don't dip into it myself. Utter cesspit- no thanks

It's very rude of him, he could of at least cancelled with an excuse but to ignore you is really shit, he's a coward! men come and go quickly in the first couple of dates, no one is worth booking and paying for anything in advance, save that for when in a relationship.

Sending a big virtual hug! Please stick to coffee or drinks or a free daytime activity to avoid being burnt again. Happens to everyone of all ages on OLD. People behave badly on OLD because there are no repercussions.
Could you try to meet single dads through your kids activities?

This is why OLD wouldn't be for me, that kind of behaviour would really hurt me. Even if I wasn't interested in him. People are so unnecessarily cruel to one another these days. Hope you are okay OP what a twat.

Possibly married and hoping for a discreet hotel.
Didn't fancy the activity.
Very childish and rude of him.

Bloke is a prick. My guess is he's married and couldn't get away as planned to go on the date.

Consider it money well spent to be rid of him.

The trouble is that because you've talked online so much you assume you know each other, it creates a false intimacy.

You would have been highly unlikely to shell out £60 for a second date if you had met the guy on the Monday without having spoken to him first.

I met my now husband on Tinder about 4 years ago, and OLD didn't seem to be the total headfuck it is now - he was my first and only actual date, but i chatted to a fair few others I would happily have met up with if it had panned out.

My lovely and gorgeous friend is doing OLD at the moment and honestly, the stress she is having with liars, ghosts, cat-fish, angry pervs, you name it.....

I do wonder if, when someone seems nice then suddenly ghosts it is because they are dating multiple people (fine as long as you are honest - not fine to keep it a secret).

My friends who did OLD pre lockdown said it’s a completely different world now. Think a lot discovered OLD during covid times out of boredom and just use it to sex talk with no intention of meeting or to find no strings hook ups

It was the same 10 years ago so I'm not sure it's any worse.
In my experience it's men often out of their only long term relationship and they are just getting an absolute ego boost from being able to 'date' or have women interested in them and it becomes a game and all about the thrill.
So you might have been a 7/10 that week but then an 8/10 popped up and on it goes.
Decent men suddenly acting like fuck boys it's almost sad really.
They are out of their depth not wanting anyone to get away and also thinking they are some sort of hot ticket all at once.
I honestly don't know the solution and it really does destroy your faith in people and your self esteem but all I can say is I met the absolute love of my life on there when I was at my lowest point with it all and ready to give up for good.
Whatever you do don't ever reply to him when he inevitably messages you with some bullshit story because he's having a dry spell.

I wouldn't put any effort or money into dates for a long time.

Keep it coffees, walks, free stuff, low effort, low cost.

Too many flakes who think they're in a human sweetie shop (and have no basic manners or communication skills).