Don’t get on with DP when not taking antidepressants

[SugarMitts]

I don’t know if this is a me issue or a him issue

I take antidepressants and have for 6 or so years now

Sometimes I run out/don’t have the capacity to put another pressure quest in etc, and I’ve realised during these times I can not bare DP

Now I’m trying to figure out whether I’m at my ‘real self’ with or without my tablets, and whether my real self or only the medicated self can stand DP

When I’m taking my tablets regularly we never argue, but I do feel very much like he is in control in the relationship, but when I’m taking my tablets I’m absolutely fine with him being in control (someone has to be right?!)
But if I miss a day (or a week) because I’m unorganised, the arguments creep in, and it’s more of a general ‘can’t really bare him’ kind of feeling rather than anything in particular

So is it me??

Has anyone else had this? Is it because I’m broken and need the tablets to function as normal? Or is it because I need the tablets to be able to deal with him?

I think only you can answer that one for sure but I think that missing antidepressants makes me far less tolerant of anyone.
Do you have a good relationship with him usually?

Side effects of suddenly stopping AD can include mood changes, irritability etc. so it’s maybe because you are irritated more arguments start -I don’t mean that as in it’s your fault though, I just mean that for example if I’m grumpy and irritated then I know me and DH argue more because it’s harder to feel peaceful with whatever is going on(same for him if he’s in a grump btw)
So it’s probably not that you need AD to deal with him, just that feeling irritated the suddenness of stopping them that makes him harder to be around.

Sorry, not explaining it well. I’m tired.

Did your need to go on ADs coincide with getting into a relationship with him?

It's a bit concerning that you say the meds make you more passive and you're more OK with him acting 'in charge'.

I'd suggest discussing your medication regime / dose with GP. And some short term counselling to help you unpick what's going on?

Yes it absolutely makes sense that I would be more irritable etc when I suddenly stop them or miss a dose or two etc I definitely get that

No @HellonHeels my usage doesn’t line up with being with him, I’ve actually been with him a lot longer, my usage lines up with my son with additional needs being born

It just feels kind of … unnatural that if I’m not taking medication I can’t get on with my spouse, and not in small ways even, but in big ways, in ways that he can’t stand me as much as I can’t stand him

But maybe this is my life now and it is me, that would definitely make sense, thank you for responses

Which medication are you on? I've been on an ssri for 10 years. It's absolutely awful for me to just stop talking them or miss days or a few days. I'm absolutely irritable as shit! So honestly I think how you feel when you go cold turkey is absolutely no indication of your true feelings in anything.

But having said that, I'd reflect on the things you notice bother you when you're missing your meds at a time when you're in them. How do you feel then? How might an outsider feel about the control. Issue? Does it seem like a bossy thing or an organisation thing for example?

Stopping them for a day or so isn’t a true reflection of yourself without them because it takes a while for them to leave your system. Stopping them suddenly can give you really horrible symptoms- this is why they tell you not to do this. It’s more likely a side effect of the withdrawal.

You’re probably having withdrawal symptoms when stopping the tablets so less resilient and less tolerant. It would likely take a few weeks to get through initial withdrawal symptoms.

if you want to stop the medication reduce the dose slowly over 6 months or so. Otherwise keep stocked up so you don’t run out.

I feel I’m my true self on sertraline but more resilient and able to cope with life’s ups and downs of modern stressful life.

I remember reading someone saying they knew they had to leave their marriage when they realised that only antidepressants enabled them to stay in it. I'd come off the medication for a while, OP, and assess the true lie of the land in your relationship.