Is bad sex life an ok reason to split up

[Pineappleonthepizza]

Been together 2 years, and the sex is becoming less and less. Also its very vanilla, i have brought up how i feel and he says sex isnt important to him.
He wont do oral, use fingers and barely goes on top when we do do it. Its making me less attracted to him .
Other aspects are great, its just the sex isnt there for me

You can split up for any reason you want, or no reason.

Doesn't sound like you’re compatible. I’d move on.

You don't sound compatible and there's some warning signs 2 years in.

There are many unhappy long term relationships where people overlooked incompatibility issues early on hoping that time would change things.

Any reason is good enough- sounds like you should move on

Any reason is good enough to end a relationship and crap sex is definitely a deal breaker for most people so in your shoes I’d end it. Your sex life won’t get better so cut your losses and move on

Yes

You can end a relationship for any reason you like, and unless you want to be having this kind of sex with a person to whom sex is not important for the rest of your life, this is probably a good one.

You can any a relationship for any reason as pp have said.

Other red flags here are that he doesn't seem interested in making
You happy or making changes or developing as a person. Therese are also red flags and won't get any better. I've heard good things about an app called beducated if he would engage with that and try new things?

I'd move on.

Are these things important to you? It sounds to me they are.

If he is good at other aspects of the relationship, i.e. you feel valued and respected despite some poor sex it may be well worth saving.

Personally, however, I can tell you sex is an extremely important component of the relationship. While it doesn't completely make the relationship, there should be some compromise, especially, if all other parts are going well but you should still come away satisfied.

Sounds crap. Move on.

Life's too short for bad sex

Who do you think should decide for you what's ok for you to do, and what's an ok reason for you to do it?

In choosing a partner you get to create your own person spec and nobody else can do anything about it. And sexual compatibility seems to be a very reasonable essential criteria. Frustration isn't a good thing and will eventually put a strain on things, if it isn't already.

I have been with someone with bad sex, he offered more but the bad sex would have made me cheat eventually

It's never, ever just about sex. As Pp have mentioned the sex issues mask others, like his selfishness and not caring about your feelings. Move on

As time moves on it will get worse.

How did you get in this situation initially? Sorry, but unless he has changed, personally l would not have got in this situation in the first place. I would not have gone to bed even the once with someone who would not do oral. It is one of those initial conversations.

Leave. You're only 2 years in and already at this point. He also sounds quite lazy? How is he with housework. Also he's beyond vanilla, he vegan! He's not even doing the bare vanilla basics!!

Are you sure he's not gay? I'm.quite shocked by what you describe. It sound like zero foreplay, and you have to go on top ie do all the work?? Ugh, dump him now!!

Absolutely yes

Mismatched libido and interest don't mean homosexuality. Jeez. Half the women on here would be lesbians if that were the case!

You have no kids with him (I presume from the timescale) and you can therefore split up with him for any reason you see fit, including this one. Run fast!

If it’s important to you then absolutely, it’s a very good reason to separate. Then you can both find someone who is more compatible to each of your wants.

I agree, it was more that when he does have sex he does absolutely nothing, he sounds completely disinterested

You can separate for any reason you like,
this is the key line for me

he says sex isn't important to him.

You both need to find more compatible partners

If he is not that interested in sex that’s fine for him , he needs to find a partner who is also not that into sex either- not criticised for it

Well yes it's a perfectly good reason. If everything else is good I would say it's probably worth trying to figure out but you've tried and you don't sound compatible rather than things just going a bit stale after years together.

He's entitled to draw his boundaries at laying there and not using his fingers or doing oral if he so wishes, that's fine, he's been clear but you don't have to stick around.

Out of interest, what does he do to for your pleasure if he won't even use his hands? Obviously you don't have to answer, I'm just curious