What to do?

[Prima123]

Hi all,

Split with my ex of 3 years in summer due to us growing apart and lack of effort on both parts.
We started speaking again before Christmas, things moved quickly and we started seeing eachother again. After speaking about what went wrong previously and why, I really thought we could make another go of it. However less than 2 months later I'm feeling pressurised and suffocated trying to make it work!?
He keeps telling me everyday how much he wants it to work, how much he loves me, about having kids etc and I am feeling overwhelmed. I am dreading seeing him and trying to avoid him. I think this confirms that's sadly it won't work again and it's time to call it a day. For me the chemistry and excitement has also gone which doesn't help.
I'm worried about hurting his feelings and upsetting him as he said he was depressed for months after we split before.
How can I best go about ending whatever this situation is in the nicest way possible? :(

If that’s how you feel despite trying you should end it.
His mental health doesn’t trump yours. It is horrible though!

He’ll be depressed no matter when you end it so you may as well do it now. You know the relationship won’t work. He’ll be ok in the long run.

I am dreading seeing him and trying to avoid him.

FFS, op, just end it already. Tell him the truth that you initially thought you could reconnect but it's simply not happening for you and you no longer wish to pursue any kind of relationship with him. Stop wasting his time and yours. He's going to be hurt but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. That's life.

I feel smothered by him just reading your post. Imagine mentioning kids 2 months after getting back together. Ick.

Curious also, why he would jump to discussing 'kids' before marriage anyway because in THIS context it would suggest to me 'I want you tied in with a child but I'm not going to show commitment from my side by marriage'. Which ties in perfectly with you feeling you're the one making the effort trying to make it work. That he's saying what he thinks, are are all the right things...but actually not showing them through action.

He does not want to fix things,he wants you bulldozed and exhausted and smothered so that you give up 'nagging' and he can carry on the way things were. Which probably suits him fine even though you're miserable.

I'd just tell him straight 'look, I gave it my best shot but this just isn't working for me anymore. Sorry. We tried though. But some things just aren't meant to be. I wish you all the best'.

And just remember you're allowed to break up with anyone for any reason. Or heck, no reason at all. It's your life.

You don't owe anyone a relationship.

Besides, you've been more than fair giving this one a second shot.

Tbh, usually when we break up with someone we shouldn't ever get back with them, we should trust our past selves that we broke up for good reason.

Thanks all, I cut the cord today and I'm already feeling relieved!