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Relationships

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Getting back with ex who slept with someone else

40 replies

Tiny542 · 10/02/2024 09:47

If your ex and you had broken up and he has been intimate with someone else/other people in the time you have broken up - say within 6 months. would you be able to forgive this?

OP posts:
Redrose23 · 11/02/2024 16:11

So many people on here that think there is nothing to forgive. Actually that’s 100% debatable. If she’s asking forgive as in forgiving a wrong doing he has done against her- the situation will reveal whether she feels he has wronged her. If he left her, went off despite all her pleas for resolution, and then went and shagged someone else, he made that choice rather than to resolve their relationship, at that point he decided what was more important to him, and if he now has decided to come back and work at it, he should be sorry for the dent he put it the trust between them, in choosing someone else over her, and the mental struggle she has thinking of him with someone else.

if she ended it with him or it was mutually ended and they were happy to go their seperate ways then she wouldn’t have anything to forgive him for BUT, in terms of getting back into a relationship, what’s the actual point? If it is really love, our heads are full of that person, no way would we want to lie entwined naked with someone else, and if he could quickly and swiftly do that, I really wouldn’t bother with a relationship moving forward, it’s totally pointless. I personally wouldn’t be able to cope with it in either scenario, it would just tell me that he and I were not meant to be. I would never move on with some other guy, in any way, unless I was fully over, never to return to my ex and feeling a lot for the person I got involved with. People can decide for themselves what they find forgiveable etc, we all have our own boundaries

Lisa202 · 01/05/2025 02:45

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hdksolxveu · 18/07/2025 10:02

This wouldn’t bother me too much. There’s nothing to forgive; the ex didn’t do anything wrong.

MsSmartShoes · 18/07/2025 10:35

Don’t get back with an ex - nothing will have changed.

Mechanic5769 · 29/10/2025 14:08

So, I am 56 years old, I have been married to my wife for 27 years but been together 36 years, she left me 3 weeks ago, said our life was boring, she would move in with her sister for a while until the divorce and the payout.
I find out she is not at her sisters but shacked up with another man, she got into his bed 2 days after she left, ruined my life, broke my heart and then stamped on it. I have only slept with 2 women in my life.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 29/10/2025 14:11

Yes. If you were not together then I don't see the issue. I assume it was a break up and not just a break for space?

TheLivelyRose · 29/10/2025 14:14

Tiny542 · 10/02/2024 09:47

If your ex and you had broken up and he has been intimate with someone else/other people in the time you have broken up - say within 6 months. would you be able to forgive this?

Maybe look at it in terms of he didn't cheat on you.Because you weren't together. He dated other people and was intimate with other people.But it hasn't worked out, and he still wants you.

Maybe look at it that way.

You didn't call him your boyfriend.You called him your ex and admitted you were broken up. For all he knew, the relationship was over permanently. Was he supposed to put his life on hold forever?In case you got back together.

I d rather not have known if there d been with somebody else. Maybe he shouldn't have told you, but he has, and it depends what you want. Do you want him back or to move on?But don't take him back and beat him up over it.That's just not going to work.And you ll break up again.

outerspacepotato · 29/10/2025 14:19

So what's changed since you split?

Have you both worked on the issues that led to the split?

If ex has been having sex with other partners, it doesn't sound like they did any work on themselves so don't expect anything different this time.

But feeling betrayed because ex moved on with others while not in a relationship with you is unreasonable.

Dogmaz · 29/10/2025 18:49

Redrose23 · 10/02/2024 12:35

No, but that’s because of how I perceive sex and relationship. For some, like those above who slept with many man within a few months of breaking up, sex is not a sacred thing. For me, if he had sex with someone else, I couldn’t be with him again. Especially if he was the one that did the breaking up. Perhaps if I had it would be different. But to me it would speak to the strength of their feelings for me. If someone can move on with someone else so quickly, what’s the actual point of being together, as it’s clearly not the real deal. I’ve been broken up with someone 9 months, and couldn’t even talk with another guy, never mind get close to them in any way. I miss my ex a lot, and I don’t want to break the bond with him, I don’t want to force myself to anyway, I want to heal fully, and know that we will definitely never be together again, and grieve all we shared, and when it’s really love, that can take a long time. There is still hope there.

This is exactly the same for me worded perfectly

Mechanic5769 · 01/11/2025 14:50

No it was for just a break, I have since found out she was sleeping with him 1 month before the break up.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 02/11/2025 21:56

Mechanic5769 · 01/11/2025 14:50

No it was for just a break, I have since found out she was sleeping with him 1 month before the break up.

I think people are responding to the OP, not you. You will be better off starting your own thread.

FullOfMomsense · 02/11/2025 23:01

I'm too sensitive so I wouldn't get over it and it's not his fault because he's done nothing wrong. If it's on your mind it won't leave it, so leave him.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 02/11/2025 23:04

Tiny542 · 10/02/2024 09:56

@Pumpkinpie1 I’m not quite sure if I’m honest. I completely see where you are coming from and it is sense! But for some reason I don’t think I could get over this? I would still feel like I’ve been betrayed and I’ve no idea why.

You have not been betrayed.
But you should not be getting back together. You split up for a reason. Move on.

fgs just spotted the date of the thread!

SatelliteSpaceman · 19/03/2026 18:00

Tiny542 · 10/02/2024 09:47

If your ex and you had broken up and he has been intimate with someone else/other people in the time you have broken up - say within 6 months. would you be able to forgive this?

What is there to forgive ? You were not a couple - you were single and he was single, what does it matter what he did

liepa31 · 18/04/2026 23:46

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