I'm ready, why is no one else?!

[Jigglybee]

I've been single 5 years after ending an emotionally abusive marriage. It was pretty bad and affected my children and wider family.

I've dated during the last few years, but haven't met anyone special.... (Haven't made any more colossal mistakes either though!)

My family love to tell me that I'm "not ready" to date; I'm a bit overweight but have a job and I'm happy. I do get lonely sometimes (but still wouldn't want to settle and waste more years on the wrong person!)

So my question to you is; why do they keep saying this to me?! I am ready. I have been single long enough. What even is "ready"?!

If everyone is saying it then maybe there is some truth to it?

What do they say when you say, 'What do you mean when you say I'm not ready to date?'

I would ask them to be clear why they think you are not ready, they must have a reason. Do you think they are being over protective or perhaps that your children are too young?

I’ve just seen that you said it affected your children and your family (your relationship) so maybe they are wary of you getting into another one?

People who love you will try to look after you, so you dont get hurt again.
You are in charge of your life. You should make your own decisions.

I find it weird that your family are telling you you're not ready to date after being single for 5 years... I could understand it if it was 5 weeks!

Do they give you any reasons?

Because if there isn't a backstory here and there are good reasons why you're genuinely not in a place to date, they're being very controlling.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm overweight; I'm a size 18. Lost a lot over summer and got down to about a 12/14. Put it all back on because I spend most nights alone (children go up to play about 6/7) and it's depressing/ I get lonely so I turn to food (I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm working on it)

The children are 6 and almost 8. I don't feel like they're too young for me to be dating really?

No weird backstory apart from what I've already mentioned. I understand them caring for me and being nervous that I'll screw up again but I think 5 years is a very long time to be alone?

Your family and friends probably worry about how a new relationship would impact on your children. They are still very young and whilst casual dating so they never meet a BF is one thing a relationship is another.

I don’t think it’s to do with your weight, are you asking/ expecting them to babysit?

I've dated in the 5 years and have never introduced anyone to my children. I get one night a week without them and I use that to date. No, I never ask for babysitting I only take it if it's offered x