He applied for divorce, can I go get laid?

[Looloolo]

My husband unexpectedly applied for divorce and totally sideswiped he. I’ve returned the completed forms.

I know it’s not really what my husband wants and me having a new partner would distress him, so I was putting a romantic interest off out of consideration.

BUT now that he filed for divorce with no discussion, which is an process that can take 1-2 years, would it be considered reasonable to openly date and sleep with a new guy?

Not mention him to my husband, still being very discrete, but morally speaking…?

I mean, if divorce was a 24 hour process we’d be done.

IMO, absolutely, you owe him nothing, but you owe yourself a lot, so whatever you decide, look after your heart first!

Why has he applied for divorce if it's not what he wants?

And your fanny. Use condoms.

Assuming you are in the UK, the divorce itself can be done in 6 months. Financial settlement is a separate entity, and that can take much longer. That aside, if he has filed for divorce, why does it matter to you if you do something he wouldn't want?

My xh was with someone else within 6 weeks of me leaving him. I thought it was a bit soon but I didn't exactly have a leg to stand on. He was still with her years later so what do I know.

I think it depends on several things. If you actually like this new person then I'd say it's a bit soon for it to work. If it's some fun and an ego boost, fill your boots.

An excellent point, succinctly made.

He's left you. Enjoy yourself!

Why’s he done it? How do you really feel about it? Is the bravado because you’re not bothered or hurting and in shock? None of my business but question your motives a bit yourself before making yourself vulnerable. Hope you’re okay.

If you are separated and proceeding with a divorce, you are free to date.

there are a couple of reasons that you might want to pause, but only if they apply in your situation

1. it could mean the end of any chance of reconciliation.
2. it may increase the animosity of the divorce proceedings. If you have delicate negotiations over children or finances, this can get bad quickly. It may even make the divorce more expensive.

Why has he applied for a divorce if he doesn’t want one??

Anyway, yes you can shag away

Morally speaking yes of course it's fine. But why has your husband filed for divorce if it's not what he wants??

That's super optimistic. You have to wait 20 weeks to apply for your conditional and then another so many before applying for the final order.

I was super on mine and it took from May to January to complete.

I would!

Maybe he already knows she's shagging the hidden partner.

Yes op, be honest and open.

No fault divorce is 20 weeks for conditional, plus 6 weeks for final. Yes, it might well be longer, but, as I said, it can be done in 6 months. Depends how hard either party push and/or the other drags their heels.

I would be worried he would then say you had been unfaithful hence him applying for divorce. When explaining it to others, I mean. I would hold off unless it's known within friends and family what he has done.
Then go for it.