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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wanting to leave partner

30 replies

RP1176 · 09/02/2024 21:21

I’m coming to the realisation that my relationship isn’t working and I don’t want to be with my partner anymore. We have a 3 month old together and I have a child from a previous relationship. My partner has never prioritised me or our relationship or family. He has always wanted to go out a lot and if I have ever asked him not to, for example if I was unwell during pregnancy, he has gotten really angry and it has ended in terrible arguments. Once during pregnancy I got admitted to hospital for heart issues and he was pacing up and down desperate for them to get me a bed so he could leave to go for dinner with his friend…. I pay the vast majority of household bills and have had to go back to work already after giving birth as we couldn’t afford me to be off any longer. I do pretty much everything around the house and he just wants to be out and about with friends and family. I know the relationship is making me miserable and I feel like I’m letting my kids down by staying but equally it’s so hard to leave. Does anyone have any encouragement or advice? I’m scared of being lonely but equally know that’s irrational because he’s hardly home anyway and when he is he’s just complaining about how much he wishes he was out doing XYZ.

OP posts:
Gillgeordie · 22/10/2024 22:29

You work , pay bills .
he works , pays cam girls .
Do u really want your children to have the unhappy, anxious downtrodden mother that you say you’ve become ? They can have a happier, fun, confident mum because that woman will return when u are not in this position. My ex favoured drinking with his friends over me , it’s that simple . Without him there was HOPE of better times , with him there was NONE.

you deserve better and u know it ! Things are more difficult now with him than without. I know this from experience. You will be happy again. Sending love to you

category12 · 22/10/2024 22:32

What do you love about him?

Farmgoose · 22/10/2024 22:43

Yes of course you should kick him out. Sounds like you won’t.
Why are you on here describing this shitty ‘partner’ and saying you love him and scared of being lonely?
Why do you make such poor choices? Try being without a man for your children’s sake. Don’t take in another one because you’re lonely. You have two small children to put first now.
I am being harsh because it sounds like you need it.

Fernticket · 22/10/2024 22:46

RP1176 · 09/02/2024 21:40

Forgot to mention i recently found out he’d been messaging hundreds of other women on Snapchat and other websites as well as paying for cam girls. It had been going on throughout my pregnancy and after having the baby. He says I’m 50% to blame for him doing that because of how I treat him and because we argued a lot during the pregnancy

He's a prince isn't he- not!!

Pumpkinpie1 · 23/10/2024 08:29

But this man isn’t a partner is he?
He isn’t there when you are Ill , pregnant, vulnerable
He isn’t paying his weight financially emotionally and physically
You OP need to be honest
This relationship is not making you happy

Tell his to leave

Talk to your family , midwife, be honest with your friends and get rid of this awful man

Start focusing on yourself , build your self esteem and don’t date until you are confident in yourself x x

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