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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help

13 replies

Hippychickbbbb · 09/02/2024 20:10

Please reply I have no one I’m so alone traumatised d h has threatened to take me to court and have full custody of our daughter he said as I took her to bed late several times I was late picking her up from school and I forgot to feed her I fed her late I’m on very strong medication and it’s made me muddled but I’m trying to remember things this has only happened a few times I usually feed her pick up to school on time I’d had some wine that day he was very hard on me and said I was a few minutes late I shouldn’t Drink . I’m not an alcoholic I wasn’t drunk! He says I have learning difficulties and I was sectioned they sectioned me only because I didn’t want to take medication but it’s my right not too they said I was delusional when I wasn’t a vain popped in my wrist and leg my foot went black it was circulation issues they ignored me had me in for 4 months they had me on 8mg my throat swelled I couldn’t breathe, he wants to use that against me she’s 8 she can feed her self but I usually feed her. He wants the house I said you can’t just chuck me he said I’ve got ways and means of doing things. He puts me down says I don’t care about her or him when I do . This hurts he says I go on and on he shuts me down doesn’t listen they shuts the door in my face he says I’m selfish self centred self obsessed with my feelings I’m not selfish self centre or obsessed with my feelings I just said about my tummy I hug a enormous belly I said about losing my job he said I mentioned it nothing I say is good enough he said I’m too big my belly’s too big he’s got attracted to me I was crying he said I was crying crocodile tears I was mental I was having an allergic reaction he just rolled his eyes he won’t hold my hand he said I make his skin crawl . He called me a worthless cunt as I ruined his friendship. He said most of the time I’m a pain in the ass and I said this to other people they said he’s abusive he said they don’t have to listen to me or live with me I’ve tried so hard to get on with him please please reply

OP posts:
ohdear99 · 09/02/2024 20:18

He sounds like a narcissist and no mother is perfect we all have ruff days !!!!!!

Honestly pick you self up and breath !!! Don't let his empty threats effect you.

I think first of all you should make him leave and second of all you should ignore what he has to say about you and only talk about the child.

If he does go to the courts they will send you to mediation first.....

I really hope your ok!!! Like I said no one is perfect we all have bad days !!! As long as you child is clean fed and loved and has a roof over there head then ur doing amazing x

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 09/02/2024 20:18

Are you separated ? divorcing ?

or is this just part of normal life ? and he does not like you very much

  1. sort out your medication
  2. do not drink during the day esp when you have childcare responsibilities
  3. set big reminders around your home re picking up your child
  4. what do you mean you feed her - are you putting the fork to her mouth like you would have put a spoon to her mouth when she was a baby ? or do you mean you forgot to provide her with a meal ?
Teasie123 · 09/02/2024 20:23

Omg!! This sounds like uve been put down and bullied for so long that U start to believe it. Please don't! We have all made the odd mistake when rearing kids but that doesn't give him the right to be demoralising, humiliating and down right nasty. Don't doubt urself.🤗🤗🤗 If fact, if anything, I would worry about him around Ur child. If he says that to U what would he say to Ur child?

Usernamechange1234 · 09/02/2024 20:23

Sorry but some of this sounds concerning.

You didn’t pick her up from school because you forget? You forgot to feed her her dinner and say she can get her own? You put her to bed late as well? You have wine at pick up time?

I’m sure your husband is vile but she’s 8 years old. Why have these events happened?

themusingsofaninsomniac · 09/02/2024 20:37

You really sound like you need some support. It was hard to make sense of your post. Do you have someone you can speak to?

Whenwasthis · 09/02/2024 20:37

He sounds awful for sure, but having afternoon wines before the pick up when also on strong medication doesn't sound like the best of choices. Parents should really be sober and on time when collecting children from school . If that's something you struggle with then consider help before things get any worse.

Huffalot · 09/02/2024 20:55

Oh he sounds awful OP.
But what I could follow is you were sectioned for not taking your meds which you stopped taking because it was your choice. Do these meds help you? Can you function more clearly on them?
I'd also knock the day wine on the head (even if it was a one off) before you picked up your DD.
Also your DD is 8, let's face it you'll still need to cook for her surely, her feeding herself will maybe mean snacks? Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick. In your shoes I'd try and get some advice from woman's aid.

Hippychickbbbb · 09/02/2024 21:10

I was late once to pick her up from school I do feed her I just fed her a bit later I mean give her meals . I’m sure other people are late some times. I wasn’t drunk I only had 2 glasses earlier in the day not before I never drink it was just to calm me down her put me down again. I care about my child I do feed her her was just critizing me as he normally dose I do think of her I spend hours with her

OP posts:
mynameiscalypso · 09/02/2024 21:16

If you're on such strong medication that you can't remember when you've been late to pick your daughter or whether you fed her, I would gently suggest that you probably shouldn't be looking after her at the moment. Your DH may or may not be an arsehole but would SS help? It sounds like you could all do with some support.

Championfancy · 09/02/2024 21:19

Hi OP

it sounds like you have a lot going on. Is there anyone who can support you at this time?

Hippychickbbbb · 09/02/2024 21:51

I meant he was criticising me . The medication isn’t right for me I was never delusional a vain popped in my wrist and causes circulatory problems. I’m a good parent I do feed her was late once time he was just criticising me like he normally does , I can’t say anything it’s used against me my own feelings get used against me!

OP posts:
Hippychickbbbb · 09/02/2024 21:56

He is a asswhole I live with him I can look after her

OP posts:
Hippychickbbbb · 09/02/2024 22:01

By I she had feed herself I meant snacks I do her main meals I won’t drink any more wine and I’m trying come of the meds I think more clearly of them but then I can’t sleep of them

OP posts:
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