How do you know if your relationship is over?

[tiggypop21]

My and my other half have been together for nearly 6years and have a 2yo boy
Things with our relationship have been rocky, for approx a year and a half now. There have been incidents when he has been violent towards me, I have forgiven him and tried to move on.
We were very rocky the end of last year, I have just found out that I'm pregnant which was a complete accident.

I haven't felt happy in the relationship for a while now, I don't feel any emotion towards him anymore and I don't want to sleep with him either.

I have voiced my concerns about having another baby. My son is being tested for autism and is having speech therapy so I don't want to make his life more difficult either.
Other half says if I have an abortion it's over between us completely.

My head is all over the place and I don't know what to do. I'm devastated at the thought of having to get rid of a baby but I also am practical and don't want to bring another child into this environment. My son has never seen anything and has never seen us argue (which to be honest we don't)
Am I being silly in thinking my feelings will come back?
Please be nice as I'm feeling very fragile

There have been incidents when he has been violent towards me

This is when you know.

Do not bring another child into this, especially one you have been blackmailed into having. Get yourself, your child, and your unborn, should you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, away from this man. Keeping things steady for a neuro-diverse child does not include living with sporadic violent attacks. You say your son has never seen anything, but that's not the point. You don't have to see violence to understand a power dynamic in a relationship. Kids understand atmospheres, pressure, discomfort, and disharmony between adults, and they learn what's normal from what they are party to. It is more important than ever, if your child is ND, to ensure a calm, peaceful home.

Am I being silly in thinking my feelings will come back

Why would they?

I have a question for you: What do you think our feelings are for?

If he has been violent to you then he could be violent to your child.
That would be the end of the road for me.

That's one thing I 100% know wouldn't happen.

Lots of people know that, until it happens. If he's violent, he's not in full physical control of himself, so even he can't know for sure.

How do you know this? I’m sure in the beginning you thought he would never be violent towards you.
A violent person is capable of violence towards anyone.

As well as the violence, I would never stay with someone who tried to blackmail me into keeping a baby if I wanted to terminate. Your body your choice.

You don't know it wouldn't happen.

If he's been violent towards you, how do you know he wouldn't be violent towards your child?

A decent man would never, NEVER, be violent towards another person, let alone the woman he's meant to love most in the world. NEVER.

When he was violent towards you, was he in control of his emotions and actions, or would you say he was out of control?

If he was in control, that means he chose to be violent to you, despite being in a position to be able to choose not to.

If he was out of control, how can you know he wouldn't lose control with a baby or child? People with short tempers and controlling tendancies get worse after children are brought into the mix, not better.

But aside from the violence, you don't love him anymore, understandbly, and he is trying to force you into having a child.

Please leave him, whatever you decide to do about the baby.

It was over the moment he was violent (and probably long before that). Why are you almost trying to talk yourself in to staying.

Don't bring another innocent child into this shit show