Dropped like I was nothing

[Redrose23]

To be with someone 3 years being apart for a year and finding this message from the past:

My darling, I love you, I treasure you, I accept you, I’ll always want you, you and me have a beautiful thing. I am yours, you are mine xx

after 7 years of total singledom, no emotional connections, no physical connection, no banter, sealing myself off from the world. Just two sexual emotional experiences in the past before him. Met him, everthing was there. It takes a lot form me to want someone. It was all there. But there were things he revealed halfway through that hurt bad, and at the end turns out he was a liar with multiple lives on the go. Cut off swiftly, and it’s been nearly a year now.

I thought I was over it. Not in terms of not loving him or not feeling pukey at the thought of another man even trying to strike up a flirtation with me, just enough to get through each day. But tonight I find myself in tears after searching a message to do with a family member and this coming up. If anyone prays, pray for me. I literally am hurting so bad just reading what I now see as total shit but meant something to me. Just a rant, sorry.

So much pain and hurt in your words. I will pray for you OP. That the pain with time goes away.

I thought it had, I cried loads tonight over how it was all left, just so sudden after I thought we had everything

I’ve been there, OP. I know how much it can hurt. How you feel is completely normal, despite the pain. Because you are human. Unlike this cretin. What helps me is knowing time heals and to fill my day and weeks with my favourite activities. Also knowing he will never have a healthy and normal life. But you can. It’s never a smooth road to getting over someone who has hurt you to your core. There will be days when you’ll feel fine and random days when you don’t. But give it time, be kind to yourself and you will be able to move forward.

Thank you, yeah when that day hits, wasn’t expecting it, was just getting on with the other responsibilities of life, thought I had numbed myself sufficiently, but I guess he’s there in my heart, couldn’t be open to anyone or anything else, I suppose it will take plenty of time for it to not hit me suddenly like this.

Thanks for the kindness and wisdom

You'll be OK. As hard as it sounds keep taking every step forward you take as a win and don't look back. My partner of 16yrs walked out 9 months ago, we have 2 boys together, from initially being told by her she wouldn't let me have my boys I have them 50:50 now. You will still have your wobbles with it all, running through your head all the things that happened? could it have been any different? could I have done anything differently? Why wasn't I enough? It's hard, but all we're doing is beating ourselves up over stuff out of our control. Focus on you, focus on doing the things you love with the people you love and keep taking one step forward at a time