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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So annoyed with him

16 replies

Jollytots34 · 06/02/2024 18:56

The point of this is my partner isn't happy I want to go on holiday with the kids. I have two weeks off work coming up, I haven't been abroad since 2019 due to having children/COVID, however my partner has been abroad twice (one week each time) with his pals mountain biking in Morzine since 2019, I stayed at home with kids, and took time off work to do so as childcare is tight, I didn't have a problem with this as I don't want to stop him doing what he likes to do. We have also had family holidays together, a few in the UK and been on a cruise. Anyway I asked him if he could get time off work on this specific week and he said he couldn't, but I still want to go abroad on this specific week and take the kids with me, I would be paying for the holiday myself, he's angry and said I am insensitive for wanting to go on holiday without him, Iv told him I would actually love for him to come but he can't get the time off. He hasn't spoken to me for 24 hours now which is making me angrier by the minute. Not sure why iv wrote this apart from needing to have a rant.

OP posts:
Dartmoorcheffy · 06/02/2024 18:57

Hes being a ridiculous hypocrite if he's had his own separate holidays

SamW98 · 06/02/2024 19:03

He’s being a selfish hypocrite. You asked him to take the week off and he couldn’t/wouldn’t - not talking to you and sulking is pathetic.

Hatty65 · 06/02/2024 19:06

Tell him it's ok - you've changed your mind.

Instead you'll be leaving the children at home with him whilst you go off abroad with your mates like he did. Twice.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 06/02/2024 19:07

He's being a selfish mardy wanker, just yuck. Go on holiday, fuck him.

Mitherations · 06/02/2024 19:09

So he's been on two overseas week long boys trips, and you're... not allowed to take the kids on holiday without him?

Can he explain why? What's his reasoning?

MinervatheGreat · 06/02/2024 19:09

Stand your ground.
He’s being a selfish prat.
Hell just have to suck it up.
Tough doo-doo.
Have fun OP.

Cherrysoup · 06/02/2024 19:11

What the hell? But it’s ok for him to dick off, child free, btw?! Arse.

Jollytots34 · 06/02/2024 19:15

He reckons him going on holiday with his friends is different as they weren't potential family holidays, I also said I'd happily leave the kids at home with him for the week as I'd also love some time out but that will never happen either. I'm Definitely not trying to defend him here but he said he can't get the time off as it's too last minute, only 4 week away. To be honest I didn't think he would be bothered about us going away as all he does is moan about the kids/shout at them so thought he'd be happy with the peace and quiet.

OP posts:
Hatty65 · 06/02/2024 19:16

He doesn't sound much of a partner, OP.

I reckon you can do better, to be honest. What's he bringing to the relationship?

Sceptical123 · 06/02/2024 19:52

You should definitely go on a girls holiday leaving him to look after the kids - asap!

frozendaisy · 06/02/2024 19:55

So basically he can go and have all the fun he likes and he's resentful if you organise fun for either yourself or you and the kids. Without him basically, yet he moans and shouts at the kids when he is there.

Fine well he clearly can't be pleased whatever you do. I would enjoy the peace of him ignoring you. Put kids to bed, have a bath, go to bed with book/TV.

SamW98 · 06/02/2024 19:55

Oh well if it’s missing family time he’s upset about, book your next holidays with your mates in Ibiza - he’ll be fine obviously as he goes with his mates after all

BodenCardiganNot · 06/02/2024 19:56

To be honest I didn't think he would be bothered about us going away as all he does is moan about the kids/shout at them

Poor kids. Are they his?

Mitherations · 06/02/2024 20:05

He sounds like a royal pain in the arse in many ways.

Potential family holiday? So was the two weeks he spent overseas, but yet strangely they weren't family holidays because he went with his friends. If he's trying to say you can't take the kids away for a week because he'll miss you and them, that's rubbish, he coped when he was mountain biking in Morzine.

You can't go on holiday with him, and you can't go without him? I call bullshit.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/02/2024 20:18

He's a dick.

Ask whether he prefers:

You take two solo/friend holidays without the kids
You take two holidays just with you and the kids
A combination.

And he can't take any boys' holidays until all the above is finished. You've become the default man-pleaser and you'll have to stop that. Also, why would you pay for the kids' holidays? Why isn't that a joint expense?

Opentooffers · 06/02/2024 21:02

If they are his DC's go on a friends holiday and leave them with him in future - with notice, so he can use up his annual leave to stay at home and look after the DC's. By his own words, that is different, and, therefore, acceptable.

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