I've just gently told my 10 year old DS that I have been seeing someone.
He's taken it really badly and I'm not sure where to go with this.
I have been with DP for a year now, DS knew nothing at all about it, I'd deliberately kept it completely separate, making sure this was a long term thing before I mentioned anything. I only see DP when DS is at his dad's, so he had no idea at all. I'd started to feel uncomfortable that I was effectively lying to DS when he asked me what I'd done while he was at his dad's. Also, I felt it was a little like I was keeping DP a secret, which isn't nice for him. DP has had absolutely no part in this btw. Has never pushed for me to tell him about him or meet him. He's the loveliest, most calm and considerate man. This was 100% my idea to tell DS.
DS is really upset. I've gone to great lengths to explain that absolutely nothing will change between us AT ALL. He doesn't have to meet him or anything like that if he doesn't want to. I have absolutely no intentions of intertwining our lives in any way whatsoever.
I've explained to him that I've been seeing him all this time and nothing has changed between us, so it's no different now. I just wanted to be open with him.
DS said "what about dad?" So it looks like he's been holding out some hope we'd get back together, even though we've been split for 8 years. dS doesn't even remember us all living together. While everything is very friendly, there's definitely never been any suggestion we could reunite, although obviously I know he could have privately been thinking this.
DS is now in his room after asking for some space, which I'm respecting.
Shit. I'm absolutely panicking now that I've somehow spoiled things between us. We are SO close, I'm devastated he's taken it like this. I tried everything I could to explain it gently and emphasise it won't have an impact on him,but he's so upset.
What do I do? Please be kind. I feel like the world's worst mother right now.