All my life I feel like I’ve been let down and betrayed by people. I think I’m a good person and good company and treat my friends, family and romantic partners well. But it is rarely reciprocated.
Over the course of my life, I’ve had a few ‘best friends’ but it’s always ended with me walking away after they’ve done something intolerable. The last one ended because she got with my ex immediately after we’d separated. I'm trying really hard to put myself back out there and make new friends but I’m realising that people just don’t seem to care about me in the same way I care about them.
I recently organised a free activity for a group of us which everyone was up for but then all cancelled on the day and I went by myself. I lent some money to another and now she’s completely ignoring me, I’m guessing to avoid paying me back even though I said there was no rush for it. Then I asked for a small favour from another friend who I’ve helped out loads over the years and he let me down after agreeing to do it. This has all been over the last couple of weeks but I have lots of examples going back decades.
I‘m starting to wonder if there’s something wrong with me or if it’s just people in general. Luckily, I’m very independent and pretty introverted (although I’m outgoing and friendly when in company) so enjoy my own company but it’s still nice to have people to care about and have care about you, perhaps to lean on during hard times. But I wonder if I should just give up on people now.
I'm not sure if anyone has any advice for me, it’s been helpful to put my thoughts somewhere.