I emailed my ex to explain my thoughts and he didn't reply

[25smallstacey]

Hi,

I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

My partner and I broke up a few weeks ago. I could see he was acting coldly but I had to drag it out of him that he wanted to end it. I felt really messed around as we had been planning the future and I was pretty blindsided. I got really emotional with him (it wasn't pretty!) but he couldn't see it from my point of view and said how could I be annoyed when he was following his heart and head. I explained that I was just hurt that he shouldn't have spoken so much about our future recently as it was false hope.

He messaged a few times checking I'm ok and I sent short responses or didn't reply. A few days ago I wrote down my feelings to him, it was a kind email saying I had gotten so upset because I was disappointed and I had taken the chats about the future at face value. I wanted him to hopefully understand my feelings better now that everything had calmed.

Long story short.....he didn't reply. I guess this is why these emails/messages rarely make anyone feel better.

No response IS the response. Sorry.

I write stuff in my notes app then I sleep on it and delete it in the morning. There’s no point spending time trying to convince a grown adult of your side of things. Match their energy - don’t waste your time.

Having said that I am sorry you’re hurting, channel your effort into making yourself feel better. Good luck OP x

Do think actually believe he doesn't GET it?

Because he does!
He gets it.
He just wants you to THINK he doesn't.

Anyone would be upset by a break up that comes out if the blue like that.

STOP trying to justify your feelings!
They are valid. And he knows this. But he's clearly not a nice person (as evidenced by him telling you you're overreacting).

This is how abusive relationships work by the way. For future reference. They trap you in a cycle of explaining your perfectly fucking obvious and valid feelings to them thinking 'if I could just find the right words to make him understand (he'd show empathy)'. Stop! Get off the merry go round.

Explain to yourself: he gets it. Everyone knows breakups hurt. Stop explaining perfectly normal feelings to a grown adult man. He's.conning.you.

I wouldn't even be surprised if he expected you to chase after him begging. If he comes back, keep that door closed firmly. No going back.