Been with DP for 2 years lived together for 10 months. But I am moving out in 8 weeks as I bought a new build house after selling my home. Living together was only temporary. He lives rurally about over an hour commute from my work and 30 mins from my friends. Not sustainable long term.
We both lived alone for many years till I moved in. whilst dating he was always reliable, felt he made an effort and wanted to spend time with me. We had to cause of distance. Now I have moved in he has become lazy or doesn’t care about me. we don’t do date nights, I have tried to plan but something comes up his end or he does book things so I gave up.
weekends are spent doing our own thing. Again he won’t commit to plans or will play computer games. He doesn’t really tell me of his plans only if I ask what’s he doing. Or find out he is out. sex is infrequent as he is tired, not well or too Hungover. For example today he was worked and I asked if he was going out tonight. He says no. I went to the gym and came home to an empty house. I texted and asked where he was. Got chipped to pub won’t be late. Asked if home for tea, no answer.
I have a spoken to him about it before as I really don’t mind if he goes out. Just want to know if he is going out and if he will be home for tea. He gets angry at me saying I am controlling Etc. I am not I just want respect to know if he is out and if I am making food for me or both.
he will make plans with me, but forgets about them or cancels to stay in and we sit in silence. it’s now got to the point I don’t make plans with him or believe him that plans will happen as he is unreliable. He sees himself as dependable, so I do wonder if he has stopped making an effort as I live here. I don’t care what he does and slowly detaching. Stopped caring as I can’t be bothered with drama.
I am excited I am getting my dream house. He doesn’t talk much about it except telling me there is no rush in moving out. He is being really generous in letting me live here rent and bill free. I pay for food and will take him away for a weekend once I have moved out.
he tells me he loves me and is affectionate. Just his actions don’t match his words. It’s a if is still living a single life with a partner at home. he has been married once and a longterm relationship. Both ended as they had affairs and him and his family said they were controlling.
So I am not too sure if he is lazy, doesn’t care about me (Being nice to not make me homeless) or upset I am leaving soon.
help me decipher this before I have a conversation.