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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

is something off about my (27f) bf (35m)'s relationship with his colleague?

4 replies

scheduledwoes · 04/02/2024 18:08

So my bf and i have been together for 3 months. He manages 3 women he seems unusually close to (he invites them over to his boxing matches). He seems close to one of them in particular (Ana (30F)).

Ana complained to him about feeling threatened by her new colleague (Maria) because my bf delegated a piece of Ana's work to Maria. This has escalated to the point where Ana and my bf privately make fun of Maria for sucking up to bosses and my bf has decided to let Maria go after Ana's complaints. He has also promoted Ana.

This entire scenario is sitting uncomfortably with me and I'm not sure how to bring it up with him. I feel like he is behaving inappropriately by taking sides and playing favourites, and that there may be more to this.

The reason I think this is because he once said he was going out for dinner with his boss to discuss Ana's promotion - but later said that his boss wasn't in the country.

On the one hand, I feel like I'm struggling to reconcile how unfairly he's treating Maria and that that's a testament to his character. On the other hand, I feel like he isn't being entirely honest here as it seems to be an extremely petty reason to fire someone. I'm not sure if this is all in my head.

OP posts:
Didimum · 04/02/2024 18:20

Well, I wouldn’t date anyone who’s this much of a dickhead at work. No integrity whatsoever.

Djde8uwje9djxyjs · 04/02/2024 18:25

He bends the rules for her.
He doesn't respect his role.
He acts immature.
He lies.
Dump him for he will never change.

MsDogLady · 04/02/2024 18:40

Extremely unprofessional and unethical. He is a manager who is enjoying playing the KISA role to Ana’s Damsel, and he is actually sabotaging Maria to please Ana. It sounds like he has a crush on her and they may have already had a dinner date.

@scheduledwoes, my advice is to bin him. It has only been 3 months, and you can do so much better.

Garlickit · 04/02/2024 18:45

I hope Maria sues him and you dump him.

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