If you are happier single did you always feel like that or did you have to work at it?

[Tamedame]

I see loads of people on here extolling the joys of being single and I am wondering if this something you can learn or work towards or if it’s just the way you are made, like preferring apples to oranges?

i have been single for few years at a time at various stages of my life and never found I enjoyed it more than being in a (good) relationship. I have hobbies, friends, family, a busy job and kids, so my life is very full and I have people to socialise and holiday with but I prefer doing all that with a romantic partner.

I am single again and a bit bruised from my last relationship so would like to learn how to enjoy being single.

any tips?

I’m in this situation now.

A long marriage which ended 9 years ago, a few years dating intermittently and then I settled down for 4.5 years, that relationship recently ended and now found myself an empty nester, in a new town (I moved to be with my partner) and single. I don’t have the luxury of my children keeping me occupied as they are grown and living their own lives. The idea of dating again scares the life out of me as I’m 46, my body is changing and I am certainly not as confident as I was 5 years ago. I would love some tips on how to manage the loneliness, I enjoy sharing my life with someone and am finding it hard to come to terms with not being able to do that.

@ChookaPooka your situation is somewhat similar to mine but my dc are still at home and I live close to where I grew up so have old friends around. It’s tough, I still miss my ex do and the things we did together as well as the comforting feeling I got from being in a relationship. But I have worked on my friendships over the past year and am enjoying spending time with different friends and growing friendships with people I knew and liked but wasn’t very close to. I still want to be in another relationship one day, or for my ex to never have cheated and left me, but I am ok.

Thankyou for this, I need to work on the friendships I left back in my home town for sure. I was very young when I first got married and settled down so motherhood and being a wife was all I knew, this is the first time in 25 years that I have been alone with no responsibilities, it’s going to be a strange few months navigating my new life. I have seemed to purposefully isolate myself which has served a purpose for healing but left me very unsure of what’s out there! My ex partner was not fond of socialising so the past 4 years revolved around the children, me and him.
i have a plan to get myself back in the thick of what I know but it’s gonna to take me a few months 💪🏻