I’ve had a really lousy couple of months and I’m really busy with work, DC and my own elderly relatives. I’m menopausal and stressed out, to the extent I had to go the doctor about it.
My MIL has been a nightmare for the many years I’ve known her. She creates drama where there is none. If she doesn’t get her way, which isn’t very often as they are terrified of her, you’ll be punished. I’ve been punished many times. She’s retired, with no hobbies, except causing drama.
Over the years I’ve stepped back, gone LC and have been happier as a result. My PIL massively favour DH’s sibling, and whilst upsetting, gave us freedom at the same time. PIL have never once helped us out with our DC. They are generous on special occasions to DC, but we’ve never had any practical help. His sibling has felt empowered by PIL over the years to treat me like a bad smell. I don’t have much to do with them either.
Over the years I feel PIL have been really rude to me. DH’s sibling is married and they are also awful to this person. The things they say about them in front of me is awful, yet they are really nice to their face. Much nicer than they are to me, so imagine what’s said behind my back!
So to the current issue. My DH has been working really late, been at conferences and not called his parents. So, who do you think is to blame? Me of course. I should be the one to keep in contact. Also, I’m unavailable to see them on a certain date, and do my DH won’t go, so that’s my fault too. These things have ramped up lately as their other child, DH’s sibling, has backed off due to the dramas. So, PIL are now always asking us what we are doing for our birthdays and asked about Easter already, whereas they usually spend it with their preferred child.
I feel overwhelmed by them and stressed out when it’s “my fault” when really I’m just getting on with my life, not bothering anyone, especially not them as I’ve never been welcome and always been treated like a bit of poo on their boot, like DH’s siblings’ spouse. I find it hard to deal with because I’ve had no animosity from any of my side, ever. We all get along great. They’ve never once said/ done anything to my DH.
Yes, I’ve got a DH problem but also what to do about PIL. My MIL clearly is a bit bored, so she’s whipping up some drama. Her other child isn’t engaging, so she’s focused her attention on me.
I’m stressed out and sick of her. It’s strange because in real life I’m actually very assertive. No one has ever bullied me at work or in my family or friendship groups because I’d give it to them both barrels. I don’t however feel comfortable telling my MIL her behaviour is dreadful though because she’s my DH’s mum.