Boyfriend and I have been together 2 years, we’re an hour apart so we generally see each other every weekend. Since fairly early on into the relationship we’ve had issues with sex. My partner would be very happy to have sex multiple times a day, every day, if he could. For me this is too much, I’m content with a few times a week, sometimes more sometimes less.
The issue I have is that on the days I’m not in the mood for sex, my boyfriend will become very grumpy - gives me the silent treatment, turns away from me in bed and starts claiming that the relationship is falling apart etc. he’ll generally be like this until I cave or am next in the mood, then everything is suddenly fine. I’ve tried to tell him numerous times that sometimes I’m just too tired, I work a stressful job and am a lone parent to my daughter as well as studying, it’s nothing personal towards him. He however can’t get his head around this, he says he can’t understand how I wouldn’t want to rip his clothes off after not seeing him all week, tells me that me rejecting him is super damaging to his mental health etc etc. He likes to tell me that he’s never had this with anyone before and essentially can’t understand how I can simply not want to have sex with him.
I’m at a lose end with it because no matter how much I tell him I’m just simply not in the mood some days, he will listen and claims he understands, but when it next happens he then goes into these moods again. The more I feel pressured into it, the more it turns me off and it becomes a bit of a vicious cycle.
I don’t think we’ve ever gone without sex for more than a week. On the days I don’t want sex, I tell him I’m happy to pleasure him in other ways but he then tells me he doesn’t want that as he can do it himself - he only wants sex. I can’t bear the moods, it’s making me dread getting into bed with him.
AIBU here? Am I being out of order for not wanting to rip his clothes off after not seeing him for a week?