Contact with FWB

[autumn1610]

I don’t know what to do (i.e. do I try and phone them) I have a FWB since August time see each other once a month on average but chat regularly practically daily at times in the week, not all day but a little check in or flirty chat. I was meant to see him 25th but work schedules didn’t align. I haven’t heard from him since whatsapp messages unread but delivered. My issue is I know when something has happened as he goes quiet and shuts himself off. So I’m worried something has happened and he’s not in a good place but I don’t want to bombard him with messages. Do I leave it a bit longer realistically I haven’t heard from him in just over a week or do I try and call? I don’t believe he’s ghosting as we’ve talked about it a few times about how shit it is and we wouldn’t do it to each other. On the Tuesday of the week we had such a nice day chatting on the phone while we were both driving for work so it all feels a bit odd.

TBH the fact you are worried and don't know what to do suggests this is more than a FWB in your head @autumn1610
You seem worried you'd push him away by contacting him.

That implies you want to hang onto him because you're walking on eggshells around all of this.

If this was just a female friend, you'd just message and ask if she was okay.

I don't actually believe in FWB because one person is usually more invested and settling for something rather than nothing.

You need to be honest about your emotions here.

When people have challenged your emotional involvement, you've become very defensive. That says a lot.

for me he dragged me out of a shitty place and both say we find each other comforting.

So what exactly makes this different from a relationship?

Nothing as far as I can see, other than neither of you has said you want it to be exclusive.

Leave him be.
You really sound needy and desperate...maybe into him more than he is you.

Change is inevitable. Life happens, and things will not always remain the same as perhaps they once were.

Just because you two have had these types of discussions, doesn't mean that either one of you will follow through as promised. No one knows how they will respond to a situation until they're exposed to it..until then it's assumptions and hypotheticals.

For whatever reason, he's not responding.

You aren't entitled to a response, nor to know what's going on with him.
According to you, he's done this several times in the past.

Send well wishes into the universe, and move on. Stop being a doormat and letting him come and go as he pleases...disrespectfully.

Move on. He doesn't respect you, and you have given him too much power and control...and you seem overly invested than what is needed. Imo there isn't any benefits to continuing this with him.

Billions of other single available respectful men who would treat you well and communicate with you. .pick one.

Perhaps it may not be best for you in the future to continue having casual relationships..

Probably the fact they only see each other once a month, hardly a relationship!

If I was in your situation I would presume he was seeing someone else. I am dating and have met a guy I consider a friend first and foremost. It’s been on/off at times. I never chase him. Because in my head he is probably just a friend.

@GaroTheMushroom very much that and the fact I don’t want to be in a relationship with him or any guy at the moment. Can’t form a relationship with someone you see once a month in my opinion. Yeah we have the friend relationship and we have sex. But front and foremost I would see him as a friend first.