Would you stay 'friends' with this guy after him saying this?

[Crepesjam]

Together a few years, felt he was fading away from me, so I asked him what's going on. He said, "I'm not in love with you, I have never been, always knew you were more into me", a few other things, and then "you can call or text me anytime".

I was really devastated and told him I wouldn't ever be contacting him again.

Surely I'm right and nobody would want to be 'friends' with someone who said this to them?

Wow, that’s a horrid thing for him to say! Why did he string you along for years? How cruel. He’s basically saying he used you. Don’t ever call him! Move on to someone decent.

Absolutely not, nothing to salvage there I'd say.

Why on earth would you want anything to do with him?

No, he's horrible. I'd block him.

Been there done that. The bastard kept me on and off for years. This is the kind of person that can't live with or without u... Run. There's plenty of fish in the sea

No, he's not your friend he's your ex for a reason

He wants to keep you dangling on for when he wants a shag.

Nope!

I would absolutely not be friends with a man who said that to me. I also think after the end of a relationship there’s no obligation to be friends, everyone deals with it in a different way and that’s entirely their prerogative. Obviously if children are involved a certain amount of civility on both sides is preferable.

I had a couple of exes want to be friends but really they just wanted my continued emotional support without providing any in return!

I would cease all contact

I would have no contact whatsoever with him.

Block him and don't waste another second of your precious life thinking about him.

One day you’ll realise what an absolute blessing it is that the trash has taken itself out!

Block, delete and self care until you heal!

Thanks, all. I was really devastated and wasn't sure if I was overreacting. I don't plan to have any contact going forward. I know everyone is entitled to end a relationship but I think there's kinder ways of doing it.

I appreciate upfront honesty.. it's not your problem he didn't fall in love. These things are out of our control really. Would you want to be friends with him and see him falling in love with other women? Probably not..

I'd want nothing to do with him after this and would cut him out of my life completely. I'd also feel used and strung along for his selfish needs.

No way. I would block him. Ask yourself what was the point in him saying that to you other than trying to hurt you? There's a reason people say 'its not you it's me' to end relationships kindly. I don't know if it was even true but you did not need to know that (unless you have omitted that you did something awful). A potential friend would not have said that.

no contact. What he said may not even be true: it could be like a version of ‘the script’.

Similar thing happened to me once: boyfriend - who’d been generally good to me during the long relationship - said some nasty things when breaking up.

On the advice of friends had no contact with him: ran into him a few years later in a pub. He asked why I hadn’t wanted to see him occasionally ‘as a friend’. I said i wouldn’t be friends with anyone who said those things. He first claimed not to have said them, then that he had thought and said those things back at the time to help him to ‘move on’ from the relationship - justifying the decision he’d taken. He said the actual motivation was that he’d decided he didn’t see a long term future, feelings changed, and that he was interested in someone else.

v weird conversation.

Yes, whether it's true or not, he said it so coldly so was definitely meant to hurt.

He had been generally okay to me also, but could be critical and belittling at times, which I couldn't see then but can see now I was too accepting of.

The balance is so out of kilter! Move on and don’t look back.