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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hes driving me insane

34 replies

Louise0808 · 04/02/2024 02:22

I know this is going to sound petty but I'm at my wits end with my partner at night.
What do you do when your sleep routines do not match? Our room is quite small and gets really hot at night. He is like a hot water bottle at night. He is quite a light sleeper so he likes the window shut which is fine but he also HAS to have the door completely shut. I wake up every night sweating and then I can't fall back to sleep. I have tried so many times to compromise but as soon as I'm asleep he will shut that window and shut that door. And I wake up again. It's gone 2am now and I'm on the sofa which is not big enough to be sleeping on. I'm also early pregnant so I'm struggling with heartburn and headaches and just getting over a virus so I really need my sleep. Other then blowing my lid at him what do I do? I'm adding he's an only child so he's used to the routine being his way. Cannot believe I'm in my 30's moaning about this but its driving me insane. Any advice ?

OP posts:
Louise0808 · 06/02/2024 15:14

We've found the solution with the suggestions from others. I dont need any further input.

OP posts:
Hbosh · 06/02/2024 15:36

I only have constructive ideas, I promise 😅
What worked really well for me was getting a kingsize box spring bed with 2 separate matresses and 2 separate single comforters whilch fit our individual sleeping preferences.

Sleeping in 1 bed with all the advantages of single beds, yet still at arms reach.

Louise0808 · 06/02/2024 15:39

@Hbosh thank you 😊 that's actually a good idea.
We have seperate duvets now at different togs lol and an air conditioning unit waiting to arrive. Which I'm very excited about.

OP posts:
PaminaMozart · 06/02/2024 16:26

I'd just like to add that he absolutely COULD train himself to be less selfish clumsy.

If he wanted to...

Louise0808 · 06/02/2024 17:02

This will be the last comment I respond to on here.

It was gone 2am and I was shattered so I ranted about my partner. Yes I have tried a few times to compromise. But he is neurodivergent and so am I. But we are polar opposites with it ( different types) structure and routine is huge to him, so his trying and compromise is different to most.

I imagine a few people have ranted before and not worded it correctly. Or give much of a back story, or let emotion over take. I didnt think it was needed, I didn't imagine strangers who don't know anything about us would jump to "he's going to be a bad dad, he's selfish" over a silly comment and very limited information about this scenario.
My mind doesn't work that way. But it's taught me to think twice before I rant thats for sure.

However please try not to be so quick to judge with no information except a tired woman ranting about a sleep routine. Things are not always black and white. I openly said he dotes on me everyday. But that wasn't enough. I've said I only want suggestions and no comments on my relationship, that wasn't enough.
There are no pleasing some. We shouldn't have to divulge the most private things about ourselves or our partners to stop receiving hate from such a simple question.

This comment will still not be enough, im sure of that. But I will no longer be responding.

Thank you for the people who actually made suggestions, they were very much appreciated. And they have worked. I've slept since 🤣

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 06/02/2024 17:03

Louise0808 · 04/02/2024 02:57

He does dote on me during the day I have to say that. Just night times he's a pain in the a**.
I will try the alternate nights in the living room. He's too tall for the sofa so he may want to compromise a bit more after a few nights on it.
He had work yesterday morning and woke me up at 5.15am ( by accident, he's loud and clumsy) so I'm very tired and it's getting to me alot more tonight.
We only have a 2 bedroom and my sons have the other bigger room so unfortunately I cannot send him to his own room lol I would absolutely love to though.

So where are you going to put the baby?

That room will be awful for a baby

RandomMess · 06/02/2024 19:17

I didn't think to suggest a small fan aimed on you may actually be better than an air con unit.

NoOrdinaryMorning · 06/02/2024 21:29

Louise0808 · 06/02/2024 15:14

We've found the solution with the suggestions from others. I dont need any further input.

OP, your attitude towards people who are simply trying to help you at your request, is disgusting

Watchkeys · 07/02/2024 12:17

Louise0808 · 06/02/2024 15:14

We've found the solution with the suggestions from others. I dont need any further input.

But you're not in charge of other people.

'Stop talking, now, everybody!!'

Fab! Peak MN :)

please try not to be so quick to judge with no information

People judged on the information you gave them, when you set the scene for the advice you wanted.

There are no pleasing some

We're all fine.

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