He’s only a baby and my dh family are acting like he doesn’t exist in favour of DH’s daughter age 9 from a previous relationship.
They spoil her constantly and she now expects and demands things, she doesn’t have manners and doesn’t appreciate anything yet they continue to do it as she’s a girl. When she comes to our house she expects the same and because I expect manners she has a tantrum and breaks my sons toys. Dh tells her off and she has sworn at him on several occasions because Mil tells her to if anyone tries to control her as she’s a princess and she can do what she likes - her words.
there hasn’t been a girl born in the family for 40 years so I know this is why they worship the ground she walks on but my son should matter too and they are also ruining the poor girl. I hate the fact that sex/gender matters to them so much they are treating them differently based on it.
In laws bought my son a £3 primark shirt for his first Christmas but bought DH’s daughter £500 worth of clothes. Her birthday was today and she got a brand new iPhone from in laws. I have told dh they are doing her no favours as she won’t be important to everyone she meets which will hurt her later on and that our son will feel unwanted not being treated equally to his sister but he claims they will do the same for him when he’s older. They already made it clear they will not.
they never ask how he is only dh daughter when she is at our house. They send money for her to treat herself and for trips out which means we have to pay for ourselves to take her. They take her for days out at least once a fortnight and babysit her when her mum wants to party. They have never offered to babysit for us or take our son for a walk, nothing at all, not even when dh needed an op when our son was 9 weeks old. In fact they have only seen him 4 times and that’s because dh daughter was with us on those times.
i have finally had enough and I don’t want to speak to in laws anymore because of this. Dh understands why I’m angry and knows first hand the resentment that he wasn’t born a girl but he doesn’t like confrontation so he lets them carry on. Especially as they have a good relationship with her mum and she encourages the spoiling.
As my sons mum I’m mad on his behalf he will always be in her shadow and never get the same treatment. I’m lucky my family treat him the same as his cousins but it hurts that dh family will always cause a rift.
If you were in this position would you refuse contact until they treated them equally or wait it out and see if they treat them equally later on as dh thinks will be the case?
I know a 9 year old and a baby are completely different stages, I wouldn’t want £500 worth of clothes for him, this isn’t about the money or gifts directly but the effort and principals behind them and that if he were born a girl he’d have got £500 dresses too.