How do i cope with end of 11 year relationship?

[Feelinghopeless01]

My DP of 11 years has wanted to separate for the last 3 months, he wont share a bed, no affection, nothing.

Im devastated and i cant believe he wants to do this to us and our family. We have a DS who is almost 1.

Im a very emotional person, I get very attached and need affection. Which makes this very hard for me to deal with. I don't want to be alone and I'm more importantly heartbroken that my son wont be growing up with his parents together. Thats what stings the most in all of this.

I always thought we would grow old together.

I know eventually il have to agree to separate and i just don't know how il cope. Iv been struggling with this for months and i'm too sad and humiliated to tell anyone about it. Being the subject of gossip once we start telling people. 😢

I don't really know what i'm expecting here, but some stories of any similar situations and how you moved forward and dealt with it all?

No one who is a decent person and hears about a couple splitting up, especially when children are involved, thinks of it as juicy gossip. We are sad for you and want to offer hugs. I don’t know you but I’ve been there and I’m so sorry. I would seek counselling if you can, it really helped me.

I had the same about 9 months ago. Was blindsided, shocked and devastated, left with 4 children. I didn't tell anyone for 3 months because I felt it would be real if I did. But my family and friends were so supportive and they are the ones that got me through. I can't say I'm 100% over it yet but I'm happy and enjoying carving out a new life. I now know I will be ok and you will too sending love!

@ABwithAnItch @Kitcat122 thank you both for your kind messages.

Did you both make arrangements for the dads to see their children? Im trying to think of the details.

Its awful when you just didn't ever see your life ending up in this way 😢 im glad to see you carved a new life @Kitcat122 . I hope i can do the same

Be very kind to yourself, but firmly accept that the relationship is over and he needs to move out so that you can both move forward in life.

Be as practical and as unemotional as you can and focus on how best to arrange shared care of your child.

My divorce was extremely nasty, mainly because I eventually worked out he was having an affair. He tried to get me to file on unreasonable behavior, saying he was just unhappy and we didn’t get on (news to me). I was devastated. After I figured out the truth, I ended up paying for the divorce based on infidelity, and never saw him again. We did not have kids. I was single for 5 years then met my current DH, we have been together 11 years and have 1 DD. He is my happy ending, a lovely funny and loyal man.