DH crush

[butterandmilk]

DH and me do school runs not on the same day, we have a DS and a DD. DH is very friendly with everyone and I'm not so much. I noticed he started to use perfume and talk a lot about another mum from the school run, the other mum is married and I saw her being friendly with everybody but I'm worried.. should I talk to him about it?

I changed username for this.

I'd definitely talk to mine if he started using perfume instead of his usual aftershave yes!

I understand it would make you feel a bit uneasy but no I wouldn't talk to him about it. Being friendly with parents at the school gate is normal and a nice thing! Talking about another mum is fine, we're aloud to like other people even whilst married it would be a boring life if we could only ever like our husband /wives.

as long as he's not talking about her in a way that is saying he wants to be romantically or sexually involved with her and as long as he's not having secret meetings / communication with her I'd just leave this well alone.

work on your self your self esteem and confidence

I wouldn't worry. You have no idea if the perfume/aftershave is related to her. Maybe he's worried he has BO, maybe his colleague had a nice aftershave and he recommended it. Maybe, just maybe he thinks one of the mums is rather nice. As long as he's not pursuing her it's fine.

Spidey senses are always right. 🕷️

Not always, some people are just paranoid! Not saying OP is but there are many jealous, paranoid people around.

I think thr word crush is so juvenile. Quite frankly you think he’s got the hots for another mum? I assume he’s not a kid still at school.

you can ask him, I assume also you don’t trust him, if that’s the case, then it’s over anyways.

In my marriage I would jokingly say: oooh you smell nice (or I can smell you from miles) who you making all this effort for? Do you fancy that mum lol? I would tease him about it so much he gets embarrassed and realises how obvious he is being.

OP, note. 'Crush' is juvenile but 'getting the hots' is fine.
Glad we got that straight.

Started to use perfume?

Relationships don’t have to end every time there is a minor blip, fgs. And having a crush doesn't even mean op doesn't trust him - she hasn't accused him of cheating.

Ask for resistance and move on is the correct answer. If he starts acting weird, then you have a problem.

Yep. It’s the other way round for me tbh.

OP - I wouldn’t say anything right now but watch out for mentionitis if he’s dropping her name in constantly.

Yes, he talks about her. She is from a foreign country ( I'm foreigner too) and he likes her local language.

Yes, he did not use it before for school run , only for special occasions like going out as a family during weekend etc..

I don't think they have an affair just makes me feel vulnerable to see he makes effort to look better for a new person.

I don't mind him thinking other people are attractive, I do too. I can find other men attractive but I don't start using perfume for them

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Sorry! my DC climbed up into my lap as I was reading your update and it accidentally posted that letter.