So my estranged husband and I have separated and have a 7 DS, we are living at the same house for the next month. I think he is finding the break up quite difficult as I usually sort out the running of the house etc (although he is wants praise when he does chores around the house). I have agreed to move out of the house and have a place lined up for next month. I’m reluctantly agreeing to a 4/3 split with DS even though there have been incidents of emotional abuse/ gaslighting/ belittling / controlling behaviour. in addition if DS Gets upset about something, he is told that he needs to man up and doesn’t validate DS feelings. DS is a sensitive boy but I love him for it and always tell him whatever he is feeling is okay.
He is a wanting more of a 50/50 split but just plonks DS in front of his iPad. I am seeking legal advice to see if there is a way of protecting my son from his fathers abusive outbursts. If DS is acting up (for example he plays around before bed) STBXH gets very angry and aggressive.
We broke up over the summer and took it in turns to stay at the house and I had tried to get him to move out and find his own place, but he wasn’t proactive. I got back together with him partly because his mum was so upset with me and partly to protect him from STBXH behaviour. It scared me so I have no idea what that just feel like for DS. Speaking to my mum, she thinks I should STBXH enough rope and agree and see how long he can deal with being a single parent. He’s only once taken a day off work to look after DS and the day to day parenting is usually on me (but I just do it). I sort out summer holidays, play dates etc.
so now that we have broken up, STBXH has been texting me all day when I am at work. I said to him before that we should keep communication brief and I try and tell him anything he needs to know before he goes to work, so he doesn’t have to contact me. he has been asking silly questions like sending our landlady’s email address and asking if that’s the correct email ( I forwarded him the contact a few days prior) /Telling me when he will change the utilities over to his name / asking if the mediator I have booked is independent. He text me yesterday accusing me of only wanting to have DS more so that I can claim benefits. He says that his chances of renting our current place are narrowing l. Bearing in mind he is in an iva which has recently finishes (it shows up on the insolvency register still). I decided not to respond at all. When I spoke to my solicitor she said I should block him as he’s being abusive, so I did. He found me on WhatsApp earlier and asked if I’d blocked his texts. I didn’t confirm or deny, but when I got home and asserted my boundaries - he should only contact me in an emergency or about arrangements for our son, he said “whatever, if you want to be weird about it that’s fine”. I said that I’m not being weird, I’m just setting boundaries as I found his messages aggressive - to which he replied - don’t be so stupid. I guess what I should have said is that I find it weird that he’s still texting me all the time like he used to and asking me questions he frankly doesn’t need to!