I don't know why I'm posting this. I think I need to get it out of my head. Please be gentle with me.
DH and I together 18 years, married almost 12. Relationship with MIL has always been complicated; she's a toxic parent with narcissistic tendencies. We moved 250 miles away from the city DH was brought up in to a more rural location closer to my parents 12 years ago which, while she never said it, she made clear she blamed me for.
FIL died 18 months ago, quite suddenly. Since then her toxic behaviour has gotten worse. She's 66 so not old but over the last 6 months her health has declined with various odd things that could be put down to existing physical conditions/disabilities. She's epileptic, has spinal issues and arthritis she takes a lot of prescription painkillers for. So when she started falling, having absence seizures and got a bit forgetful, we didn't really think much of it. She refused all help for weeks. Eventually got her to go to the GP, where we had to talk for her they did some tests, found nothing of note, arranged a CT scan. She had another fall last week, went to A&E, they did a CT scan, they found an enormous lesion on her brain. Operation is incredibly risky and if they agree to do it she may not make it through surgery. If they don't do it, she's got days, maybe a couple of weeks.
This woman has, at points, made my hell. She has lied, manipulated, guilt tripped, she has hurt me, hurt my DH, hurt our DCs. DH's family are addicts of some kind or another; my DH is recovering alcoholic and I'm terrified he will relapse (he's 14 months sober). I feel unbelievably guilty for every bad thing I have said or thought about her but heartbroken for my DH who may lose both parents in 18 months. I am trying to put my feelings about MIL deep deep down and focus on my DH.
Any words of wisdom? There might not be, I think I mostly needed this out of my head.