So is this just what happens? Men coming out the woodwork?

[gingypig]

I separated from my long term partner last year, been together since we were teenagers and I'm now 45. I laid low for quite a while after we split and didn't see a lot of people. However over Christmas I was in my home town and met up with some old friends and had a few nights out with people closer where I live.

I am not doing online dating or anything, not really looking but on my socials there seems to be some new message every other day from some guy I knew from school or uni or some old job trying to hit me up? Spoke to another single woman I know who is 35 and she says it is just what happens, pretty much every guy who ever fancied you and is single (or not) gets his radar pinged that you are now available and will try his luck?

So is this just what happens? Seems kind of mercenary behaviour to me and puts me off actually wanting to meet up with any of them. Don't even get me started on the one's who have done this and appear to be still married 🤮

@Malarandras and @SockPuppet Perhaps you just know a better class of man? Believe me there isn't anything flattering about some guy you haven't seen for 20 years popping up in your socials with a "How's you?"

@altmember They must have heard on the grapevine, I don't share my relationship status online.

I guess it depends if people are intereseted some people are happy single some people are desperate for a man so depends

I have a long happy marriage apart from. one awful blip a few years ago, it was honestly more me as I lost it when peri menopausal. There was talk of separation, two of my male friends made passes at me after I told them, I mean I told my women friends as well. Fortunately DH and I resolved our differences and came back better than ever, it was a disappointing eye opener on my men friends part.

Ugh. Just like male deathwatch beetles, they all start tapping from inside the woodwork as soon as they get a sniff of a tiny perception of a self-righteous "chance".. Creeps.

Very hard to weed out any potential normal men from all the chancers, the chancers do not care for anything other than an opportunistic fuck with someone who's probably out of their league, and so they strike whilst they perceive you to be weaker.

The only way to get rid of deathwatch beetles is to use pest control methods.. Just saying 😁

You must be better looking than me. I did get a couple of low effort approaches but none of them were single, just married men looking for a bit on the side.

If they were single I wouldn't have minded.

Yep this happened to me. Seperated 5 years ago and can get to know people through my hobby.

As soon as they find out I am single the DM's start. Some of them are married and of the ones who are not, they seem to take pride in being players. Got to the point where I am giving the hobby a body swerve this season.

Also men I thought were friends or mutal friends hadnt contacted me for months but I had a load of messages within a couple of months of splitting up. The fact that my ex was so appallingly abusive was common knowledge, which imo makes it worse as they were definitely preying on me at my weakest.