Do all siblings think there is a favourite?

[WhatHaveIDone21]

I've got 2 DDs - one in primary and one in secondary. My DH has a very poor relationship with his family - a lot of this comes down to feeling like he was treated differently to his sister. As a result I've always tried to treat my DC the same and make sure they both know that I love them.

DC1 has always gone on about how her sister is the favourite. There are 3 years between them and she used to say she preferred it before her sister was born.

Things like this really upset me. If something doesn't go her way, she will say it's because she's not the favourite. I've tried brushing it off, talking to her about it sensibly, shouting and yet it makes no difference.

Something else has come up tonight and it's the same old thing. My DH said all siblings feel like there's a favourite and I shouldn't let it bother me but it really does. I am an only child so have nothing to compare it to. Is this a normal part of sibling relationships? Is there anything I can do about it?

What both of those two posts say is spot on.

But also, you say you try to treat them the same but that's impossible and it's important they realise that. They are two different people, different personalities. One of them made you a parent and every parenting experience with them is the first time you do it. The other one is your last and every parenting experience with them is the last time you get to do it. That alone makes your parenting different whether you realise it or not. There are so many small details that will mean you don't/cannot treat them the same. That doesn't make one or the other a favourite. But just as your relationship with each of your friends is different, with each of your colleagues is different, with each of your extended family is different, your relationship with each child is also different.